I'm the Boyfriend's Replacement

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2007
I'm the Boyfriend's Replacement
6
Wed, 08-10-2011 - 2:22pm

I have this friend who spends 24/7 with her boy friend. She's turned into a horrible, miserable monster and treats her family like crap. She doesn't have any other friends in town besides me and the only time I hear from her these days is on WEdnesdays when her boy friend is golfing. I should tell her how I feel but I'm worried. I am VERY close to her entire family and worry about ruining my relationship with them. Her sister feels the same as me as she only sees her when the boy friend is busy. It's ridiculous. I don't exactly know what to do.. I want to say something to her about how awful she's being and that I'm not just a replacement for when he's busy but I don't want to ruin my relationship with her family... I just don't know what to do!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Wed, 08-10-2011 - 2:47pm

Perhaps you should change your schedule to become busy on Wednesdays, and invite her to join you on another day.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Wed, 08-10-2011 - 5:50pm
Why do you want to remain friends with a "horrible, miserable monster"?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2007
Thu, 08-11-2011 - 2:00pm

Agreed! With the way she's behaving these days, i think i have had just about enough. She's selfish and miserable in her own life and when you try to talk to her about it, she just is awful. I made an effort and it didn't work so if she wants to be my friend, she can pick up the slack... on any day BUT Wednesday.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Sat, 08-13-2011 - 1:58am

I was wondering the same thing, cat!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sat, 08-13-2011 - 3:09pm
Ebeatle, I agree with Izzy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2011
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 4:41pm
Honestly if her family thinks she's a monster TOO they'll agree with whatever you have to say. But naturally it's her family so it will cause a divide anyways, thats just the way things work. Do you want to salvage the friendship? Or are you just biting your tongue for the sake of her family? Why don't you talk to her sister & you two can confront her together in a calm way. Just a suggestion. I would just sit down and tell her that she's changed and mention some times when she's cancelled on you (facts only) & that you resent her only calling you on Wednesday & how everything makes you feel. BUT like the above person says, why would you want to be friends with a miserable monster? I had this happen to me & sometimes bad friends bring out the worst in you so you are better off without her... It sounds like things are kinda at a dead end & your "friendship" could be doomed so you might as well say what you have to say because its gonna come out sooner or later.