I'm not in the Wedding : (

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
I'm not in the Wedding : (
11
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 1:09pm

My long time friend is getting married at the end of the month and i'm not in the wedding! I know it sounds crazy but we used to be so close. We have known each other quite some time. I met her years ago and we became friends. We used to hang out all the time.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 4:35pm

I wouldn't bring it up.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2010
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 11:39pm

No. I wouldnt mention it.. She didnt invite you for her reasons. Let it go. THere are always things that will dissapoint people and these things really do matter ( I know for a fact as my kids were not in my brothers bridal party - but yet they had random new friends in it ?? ) but its their decision and thats it. At least you know when something relaly important happens for you, she wont be invited to be involved in the occasion. I wouldnt mention it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2011
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 6:11pm

Yep, I would just spit it out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 7:39pm

Thanks guys! Actually, I consider us close enough that I have decided that I want her to be in my own wedding when I get married. Although she doesn't know this yet, I know she's going to feel pretty arkward when I tell her and she'll probably end up regretting not having me in the wedding. I have no problems with her fiance. I actually call him my brother because i consider her to be my sister. This is all so strange, i'm close enough to her to consider her family and we've even talked about having a sleep over before she gets married just to do it one last time like old times and yet she doesn't consider me close enough to have in her wedding? It honestly crushes me. I wonder if it's because i'm fat. That's the only thing i can think of. Well, one of her bridesmaids is a little chunky so that may not be it but i don't know what else it could be. After i had my son, i put on a ton of weight so maybe she's not used to me being big and can't imagine me being a bridesmaid in her wedding,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Thu, 06-23-2011 - 3:50pm

Um, if she honestly didn't want you in her wedding party because you've gained weight, this person is a horrible, shallow friend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Thu, 06-23-2011 - 7:01pm

Are you a single Mom?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Thu, 06-23-2011 - 7:51pm

Yes, i am a single mom and that thought has crossed my mind. But then i thought "we're really close. If she honestly thinks that, wouldn't she had at least mentioned the idea of having me in her wedding just to at least let me know she cares and that she's thinking of me?" This way i could let her know if i can afford to participate or not. Just a thought.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Thu, 06-23-2011 - 11:07pm

>>>If she honestly thinks that, wouldn't she had at least mentioned the idea of having me in her wedding just to at least let me know she cares and that she's thinking of me?" This way i could let her know if i can afford to participate or not.

Well, she might have chosen not to ask you so

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Fri, 06-24-2011 - 12:34am
<< I got married and had a child and we grew distant. >>

I know that's just a segment of what you said, but I wondered about it. Why do you feel you two became distant at that time?

You said you "slowly" became close again after your divorce. I feel like we're missing part of the story.

But in answer to your question... no, I wouldn't say anything to her about it. (although with more information, I could see things differently....)

I'm sorry that you're hurting, and I sure hope it's not for the reason that you suspect. But....this girl might not be worth your friendship.



 

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Fri, 06-24-2011 - 12:59am

Was she in your wedding back whenever it was?

Pages