Issues with my Step-Mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2010
Issues with my Step-Mom
9
Fri, 12-17-2010 - 1:32am

I am at home for Christmas break and already my stepmother is driving me crazy. She is very picky about how things should be in her home. Anytime I make her angry like if I leave my keys on the kitchen table or my jacket she yells at me and is like your mother taught you poor manners. She also says my mother was a horrible mom and she doesn't know how I turned out a good daughter because I had my mom for a mother. She talks bad about my mom all the time and she talks bad about the one of my sisters who never spends Christmas with her and my dad. I have four sisters and the one who does not spend Christmas with us is my sister, Ella, who hates to be home with my step mom. The one Christmas Ella spent with them.... my step mother bad mouthed my mom so much that my sister and her got in a fight. My stepmom also tries to take over my moms place with me. Everytime I tell her to stop she really just ignores me. She will try to give me motherly advice and tell me what to do. She complains about everything. She always complains about her friends and she always wants to go out to the bars and when she comes home drunk and something gets broken she blames me. She definitely doesn't act her age and is really immature.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Fri, 12-17-2010 - 1:43am

I was just about to crash for the night when I saw your post... so this will be quick.

If you'd rather spend Christmas with your mother, just go.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Fri, 12-17-2010 - 2:40am

I tend to agree with

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Fri, 12-17-2010 - 7:02am

Your Sister, Ella, has the right idea.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Fri, 12-17-2010 - 11:09am
Ugh, that stupid formatting issue again. I'm typing in a box about 1 inch tall by 4 inches wide, so forgive any grammar/spelling mistakes. Anyhow OP, what your SM is doing is very wrong and it is something that is widely known to be avoided at all costs. She is obviously extremely jealous of your mother and feels threatened by the bond you kids have with your mom. Secondly, she is power tripping. I wonder what Dad would think if he all of a sudden lost all his relationships with his children because of his wife's awful behavior and his spinelessness to stick up for his kids? Sadly, I think that to remove yourself from the toxicity, that may be the only option. My personality dictates that if I were in your position, she would've been told off many times already to such a degree that she'd be frightened of me. But that's not the best thing for everyone. I definitely think you need to sit your father down like the previous poster's have suggested and give a firm bottom line. I also think it would not be inappropriate for you to assert yourself the very next time she goes on a tirade about your mother and cut her off at the knees for doing it. It's socially a faux-pas because it makes everyone feel uncomfortable and it's quite cowardly to cut someone up who isn't there to defend themselves, but it's also a lose-lose situation to cut up a mom to her daughters. Whether the relationship with mother and daughter is a good one or not, it is not received well. I would personally avoid seeing her at all. I'd boycot them, but that's your call to make.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Fri, 12-17-2010 - 12:08pm
What the heck is going on here with the formatting?

And I agree with everything you said.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2010
Fri, 12-17-2010 - 12:17pm

I am pretty much the only sister left.... Alex, (one of the twins) decided to go to mom's house instead and when my stepmom started bad mouthing her, Taylor (the other twin) stormed out of dad's house. My sister, Zoey and I have been reading your comments and we agree. We have packed our bags at

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Fri, 12-17-2010 - 1:04pm
Yay!

And Merry Christmas to you!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Fri, 12-17-2010 - 1:16pm
Good for you! I'm glad you are leaving and going to your mum's house. My dad was married to a woman like your SM for about ten years. It came down to us not spending any holidays with them, because while we were there, she made life absolutely miserable for us. She pulled a lot of crap during every gathering. She has told us we couldn't watch football on thanksgiving. On Christmas, she gave the cheapest dollar store gifts to my siblings' boyfriends, girlfriend and fiance. All four of the siblings were in serious relationships at the time. These significant others were not fly-by-nights but SM treated them as such. She abruptly ended a milestone birthday party for my dad, because each time someone went to the (open) bar, she had visions of her bank account dwindling. And her home was like a museum and she made us feel uncomfortable just sitting on the sofa. Yes, she was a real step monster.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 7:30pm

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