Is it just me? Would you be mad?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2008
Is it just me? Would you be mad?
22
Wed, 10-26-2011 - 12:57pm

For the past 6 months I have been somewhat estranged from my parents. At the age of 40, I finally took a stand for myself and discussed with them the horrible things that happened to me during my childhood and how they continue to treat me today. I talked to them about sexual abuse that happened to me as a child, and how their manipulative, controlling behavior to this day has left me empty and unable to care for myself. I told them that it was time for me to cut the strings and remove myself from the drama and guilt they put on me and heal from my past, and live for a future

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2008
Wed, 11-02-2011 - 10:04am

Cripes really????

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Wed, 11-02-2011 - 9:52am
She was just asking cause your post wasn't clear on that.

Why so defensive?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2008
Wed, 11-02-2011 - 9:22am

ummmmm.....and just fyi....the blow-up happened after father's day...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2008
Wed, 11-02-2011 - 9:20am

LOL!! This was a good read this morning!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Wed, 11-02-2011 - 9:03am
We all get to have opinions on what our parents are doing, no matter what kind of boundaries are set.

Everyone is allowed to have their own feelings, also. To tell someone, "nope, you can't be hurt," is not recognizing that.

I have pretty strong boundaries with my parents, but to say stinging words can't hurt me, I have no right to be hurt, or have an opinion, sorry....

Well, it's incorrect.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Wed, 11-02-2011 - 8:38am
Not if she's set her boundaries and distanced herself from them. What happens is the boundaries are weak and she still has 1 foot in when in reality strong boundaries doesn't allow her to have an opinion on what they're doing. She chose this...they are living their lives without her which is what boundaries are about.

With this I respectfully agree to disagree.

San
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Wed, 11-02-2011 - 5:56am
<< You can't be hurt about this...sorry. >>

<< What they do is none of your business and you can't be hurt by anything they do or say.>>

Of course adult children can be hurt by the actions of their parents, and dismissing the OP's feelings wasn't right.

 

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Wed, 11-02-2011 - 1:23am
shorty8383 wrote:

okay...just a whole ? on the whole unfriending on FB and the message it sends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Tue, 11-01-2011 - 6:57pm
If you disagree with my response why don't you explain it? My response is not ridiculous...it's MY response.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Tue, 11-01-2011 - 5:53pm
Haha.

I think it is a new word!

 

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