It worked! Family peace, for once

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2002
It worked! Family peace, for once
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 11:38pm
I tried a little psycology on Sunday to prevent the usual drunk/family arguments anytime they get together, and it worked! Just wanted to share with you wonderful people...

To refresh memories, my fiance's family are loud, obnoxious and argumentative people. Love each other dearly, very close family, but always fighting about something. Take any holiday or special occasion, plan a family get-together, throw a little beer in the cooler, and you've got a recipe for disaster.

So Sunday, we planned a little barbeque to celebrate my future step-son's departure for one year to Taiwan. Invited all the family. As plans progressed, I got tips that this one or that one was bringing a cooler of beer. Also, certain ones (who are usually the instigators of arguments) had given me clues that a fight was already brewing, and the barbeque hadn't even started yet! I panicked - wanted this day to be special for my step-son, a peaceful one with good feelings to send him off on this scary adventure - and it was starting to look pretty bad.

So, when the first ones arrived, including the major instigator (already a bit tipsy), I took her aside and told her how nervous I was about a fight maybe starting between OTHER family members, and wanting this to be special for B. I asked her to help me watch for signs of an argument and help me diffuse it. She happily agreed (!) Then when instigator #2 arrived, I took him in the kitchen and told him the same thing. He also agreed. (!)

Well, of course the inevitable happened. Instigator #3, whom I had not had the chance to enlist her help, started the fight. Instigator #2 jumped right into it - but I caught his attention and he remembered, then backed off of the argument. Meanwhile, Instigator #1 did the same thing with #3 that I had done - and everyone calmed down, changed the subject, and we had an absolutely PERFECT barbeque!!! Woohoo!!!

To top it off, my step-son called everyone into the front yard to look at the southern sky - which, just after a short rainstorm, had a beautiful double rainbow. Whan an omen of good luck.

Incredible day. Feeling pretty darn good tonight and patting my own back.



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2003
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 11:49am
Congratulations, sounds like you idea worked beautifully. It's a shame people don't realize how much their little tantrums affect others. Hope it works in the future as well.

Allison :)