It's like I gave birth to a 62 y.o. child

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
It's like I gave birth to a 62 y.o. child
12
Sat, 09-24-2011 - 5:19pm

I love my mom, but she drives me absolutely crazy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
Sat, 09-24-2011 - 5:50pm

MMMMMMMMMMM.............. I can tell how you feel. Signing for anyone's mortgage is not a good idea.

Why did she do so? Did you ask her?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Sat, 09-24-2011 - 9:38pm

Oh for heaven's sake...unless Mom is mentally deficient or suffering from dementia, there's absolutely NO reason to treat her like a child, sonyberg!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
Sat, 09-24-2011 - 10:05pm

She's going with her to the bank on Monday.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
Sat, 09-24-2011 - 10:07pm

I agree, I don't want to be her mother and don't the responsibility, unless I am left in that position to have to be responsible for her decisions.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Sun, 09-25-2011 - 12:02am

Could you find somebody else to explain to her the ramifications of co-signing? Maybe the Area Agency on Aging or some other senior resource organization has people who can talk to her...perhaps she doesn't take you seriously when you tell her, or she just figures that you'll "fix things" like last time if a problem arises.

I wouldn't exactly call this irresponsible, what else has she done lately that is irresponsible? Is this the way she has been for years, or is this behavior something new for her? Does she still work?

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Sun, 09-25-2011 - 9:21am
Goodness, when did being 62 mean you are senile? Your post seems to assume assume she is lonely, can't think & needs to sharpen her mind with brain exercises then treat her like a kid because she is 62.

Sorry but you are coming across with a total lack of respect for someone who is older. Where I live, you don't qualify as a "senior" until age 65 and the majority of those people lead busy, contributing lives.
Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Sun, 09-25-2011 - 9:33am
I understand the need to vent about Mothers, they can be frustrating & a lot of work. I have refused to have my Mom live with me because after only a few days, I'm ready to run away from home. My kids are insisting when I get old & senile that I will live with them. Not a chance if I have anything to say about it. Once you grow up, you & your parents need your own space.

My understanding is that someone doesn't chose to allow identify thief to happen. It's becoming too common these days & I'm impressed that you have the knowledge to figure out how to solve the credit problem for your Mom. Is this something brand new you had to learn or are you in a field that financial issues are familiar to you & therefore easier for you to handle than your Mom?

I read that she came to you for advice on the cosigning, that tells me she respects your opinion. Is part of the problem that your personalities are so different or is it that she really is lacking in the ability to make rational decisions as another poster suggested? I expect that most people don't really understand the ramifications of cosigning anything. We won't cosign our DD's mortgage. She didn't ask us because she knew this but his parents volunteered. I think it's too great a risk when trying to maintain your own expenses. On the other hand, I gave DD an interest free loan to buy a new safe car when her old one was totaled after someone hit her. There are different ways to help people.

Dee
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
Sun, 09-25-2011 - 1:59pm

I should have expounded more on specifics as to why I feel the way I do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
Sun, 09-25-2011 - 2:09pm

I love my mom dearly and I know that 62 is nowhere near senille, but her actions make me question her sometimes, because of the things she does at times.

There was a period where she was living with me and it was VERY STRESSFUL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Sun, 09-25-2011 - 3:28pm

Now that you explain your mother is from Japan, I think I understand things a bit more.

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