Just Call Me Blockbuster Video (LONG)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Just Call Me Blockbuster Video (LONG)
Fri, 07-25-2003 - 1:56pm
I rent the top floor of a friend's house. I pay my rent promptly every month, and I also pay for the utilities I use. On occasion I have even paid my rent in advance when my friend needed it. I have my own compact refrigerator upstairs with me, and I buy my own food. I even have my own George Foreman grill and microwave upstairs.

The house needs a lot of work. When it rains, the basement leaks. Some of my boxes containing videotapes got wet, and I broke the boxes open to see what the damage was and to let the tapes dry out. I was not able to box everything all up as quickly as I wanted, because I had to hunt down clean dry empty boxes. Last weekend I discovered that my friend's teenage son went down in the basement and helped himself to about fourteen of my tapes. Most of them were pre-recorded movies, and two of the tapes were tapes I used to tape TV programs. He used those tapes to record porno movies. I also had the two cassette tape of Mel Gibson's "Braveheart"; part two of that movie is missing.

I routinely put my initials inside the box or on the tapes, so I knew these tapes were mine. I was calm when I told my friend about what her son had done. I know she is going thru a lot of stress because her mother died about two weeks ago. I also know that her son doesn't like me (for no reason) and that he would LOVE to see a big knock down drag-out fight because of him.

She immediately began defending him, said that he really wasn't a thief. She also told me to leave the videos downstairs because supposedly her daughter brought some tapes over to the house, and she wanted to see which was which. I told her that unless her daughter's initials were SLM, they were not HER tapes. I also pointed out that her son could have taken those tapes over to the friend's house, and left them there. She doesn't know WHAT he does during the day, because she is at work. I showed her my initials inside several of the boxes. I took my tapes back upstairs with me.

I don't do shouting matches, and I have lived in her house long enough to know that she has issues. That's the operative phrase, anyway: IT IS HER HOUSE. I am saving money for my own house, and I do not feel like packing up and trying to find a place that will accept me and my three cats. I AM TIRED OF LIVING IN OTHER PEOPLE'S PROPERTY. I AM SO TIRED I COULD SCREAM.

We have not spoken to each other since last Sunday. I haven't seen her since last Sunday. I plan on paying my rent and utilities as usual in full next week. Last month she claimed she lost the receipt book. I went out and bought one of my own. Whenever I give her my rent money, I get a receipt. I have already set up my savings account with the bank, and I contacted several first time home buyer's programs in my area. I dropped by the local supermarket and snagged 15 cardboard boxes. I am considering putting my stuff down in the basement in storage after I repack.

I don't expect her to do anything about this. I am willing to let this go because my health is precious to me and I am not going to run my blood pressure up over this nonsense. I have also realized that in the long run that this might be for the best. I will no longer have to listen to her constant tales of woe, about how she has it rough and no one wants to take care of her. She's a drama queen. Before this I tried to discuss setting boundaries with her regarding some overly personal issues she wanted to tell me and she did not want to listen.

I appreciate her letting me move in, but she also knew that I would be a very good tenant. Besides, she DOES need the money. I am no longer going to give any advances on the rent.

She recently tried to get her house refinanced, and that was when I found out that she has a history of walking away from houses, which is why the mortgage company was not willing to give her as much money as she wanted. I think she DOES realize that she can't keep on doing that, because I think she still has to pay for the house(s), but I'll feel a heck of a lot safer with my own bucks in the bank.

She talked about how stressed she was after her mother died, how she wanted to get away for the weekend. I was tempted to pay the August rent in advance (am I GLAD I didn't!) so she could get away for a while. The urge to help her has evaporated like a snowball in a blast furnace.

I know I could live there, pay my rent on time, and have very little contact with her.

Edited 7/25/2003 2:00:40 PM ET by banditsrubyangel

Edited 7/25/2003 2:03:14 PM ET by banditsrubyangel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Fri, 07-25-2003 - 8:15pm
I think that is just what u should do. Try to keep it simple and businesslike as much as possible. You sound so smart and responsible, I am sure u will have ur own house before u know it and be able to get out of there :-) Good luck! Rhiannon

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Mon, 07-28-2003 - 11:23am
Thank you for your post. I really didn't expect anybody to respond, I just wanted to vent. When I pay my rent this Thursday, I am going to tell my friend that if her son EVER takes anything else of mine without my permission, I will call the police on him and press charges. I will move out, and we will lose friendship, altho I'm not sure now that we ever were friends.