Just need to vent!

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Just need to vent!
13
Tue, 04-12-2011 - 11:58am

And be told I'm making too much of this situation. And that I need to grow up but that it's ok to be hurt.

Past history, family occasions have always been big events in our family and ones that all of us looked forward too. However, life changes & I get that, I guess. My DD told me that she has to work all Easter weekend from 2 to 10 each day which means no family Easter dinner will fit into her schedule. I understand & can live with that. So said I would do it the weekend before or the weekend after if she wanted. She said sounds great. Then I found out that this weekend is the best for the rest of the family & again when I mentioned it to her, she said sounds good. I will just confirm with my fiance. Well, you can guess where this is going. All of a sudden it's too much effort to come north where the event is planned for Sat night. Everyone had wanted the meal up at our new home which is 90 mins north of the city. Now DD says move dinner back to the city and make it for Sun night since she will be coming then anyhow as we babysat on Mon/Tues while she works from 6 am to 2 pm. When I said that won't work for her brother's fiancee as she is working, DD asks if she needs to be there. I was so angry that I replied, saying well then does your fiance need to be there? Which she didn't like at all. fyi, she really likes her brother's fiancee.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Thu, 04-14-2011 - 7:07pm

Dee...

i am guessing there are other people involved in these holidays other than your dd and you and your so's.

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Fri, 04-15-2011 - 12:11am
Great advice and I would use normally but this year there is only my DS & his fiancee who are living with us until their house is ready next month & DD & her family. So likely only 7 of us for the meal as My parents can't be counted to show because they get ill a lot. So it's really just an occasion right now if we are all together otherwise it's just a normal dinner with the 4 of us living together.

My reason for being flexible was to include everyone to make it a bit special. My disappointment/anger was because she agreed to the originally scheduled date & time as she said it suited her schedule then reneged after talking to her SO because it was too much effort, blah, blah, whine, whine, whine.

I don't like lies, just tell me the truth & I will deal with it. I would understand even if it was DD that wanted to go to the party as she rarely gets a weekend off to enjoy any type of social life. She works long days with little fun. DGS is a special needs child who has lots of appointments and so DD needs the flexibility of her shift work to accommodate these weekly appts. But it normally means she works weekends to offset the time off during the week.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2002
Sun, 04-17-2011 - 3:22am

Dear Dee,

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