Just want to say thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Just want to say thanks
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 2:15pm
Thank you for reassuring me that I am a special person. I really needed that because I am going to be dealing with some pretty tough stuff this weekend. I really needed someone to let me know that things happen for a reason. Sometimes I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes I am overwhelmed. I called the technical college here and I set up an appointment with a counselor to help me figure out what to do. I think I am going to get my associates degree in human resources. Maybe even go 4 years if I like it. I like helping people, and sometimes its wonderful just to have a little help too once in a while.

Its funny how you mentioned being put on this Earth for a special reason. Since I was a little girl I have felt I was put on this Earth for a special purpose. I don't know what.

My fiance tells me I have a big heart. Even though someone may hurt me I am always there.

I am like the solid rock that people can lean on even though I've been beaten, damaged, and crushed.

Funny how I feel this way and my name means Oath of God or God's promise. I used to be very religious but ever since my church didnt want to help our youth or accept change, I haven't really gone. Plus, the reason I don't go is I met my first love there. I mean I saw this guy and it was love at first sight. We went on and off for years and then he joined the navy and ever since I met my fiance 3 years ago he just backed off when I needed closure. I need some closure to my past. I guess I feel so angry with God these days for what has happened. When I needed help I felt he wasn't there even though I'm busy here doing the things he encourages. I feel that I want to be normal but God chose me to do these things. I don't want to have to deal with the hard stuff. I want a break, but its like God just says,"Keep going. There is still a lot left to do." Im angry that I cant get a break. SO like I said I have to just keep my chin up until I finally get my break. which it may come today, tomorrow, or 20 years from now.

Also, I am taking a cancer gene test in July to see if I have a colon cancer gene. If I do, I will have children early because this form of cancer can cause damage to the reproductive organs as well. I am doing this as a preventive tool. In case I have any problems they may be able to catch it early. I would feel very upset if I couldn't have children and I gave up my only child for adoption.

Its really just weird how I'm only 19 years old and I don;t do what my friends are doing now. I'm not like them at all. Im not into drugs, drinking or having sex with random people. Even my siblings are saying, "loosen up and have a drink. You are too uptight."I am sick of it. They are 6-7 years older than I and drink too much. That makes me mad too.

They don't realize that I have a lot to deal with and I don't need alcohol to make it go away. So what if I don't act my age? Maybe I am more mature than that. Just because I am not what society thinks I should be at my age doesnt make me uptight. I am a leader, not a follower and I like that I am the way I am. Everyone always pushed me to do things their way. When I did things my way, I did it not only better, but with pride that I did it on my own. They tell me to do something. I do it at my own pace and I do it 3 times better.

I really want to accomplish one mission in life: That is to inspire people to do the right things and be the best they can be. Sorry for just chatting on I just thought I'd share a little more of me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2002
Sat, 05-03-2003 - 9:34pm
Title: Hold your head up high and be proud!

You're very, very welcome. We all need encouragement sometimes, myself included. I just got mine in knowing some of my words helped you. :)

And you know what? To heck with what your family thinks of you, that you need to "lighten up," have a drink (what are they thinking? You're 19! Sounds like you're the ONLY one here with your head on straight!), or "act your age." What do they mean by that, exactly? That you should be partying with the other 19-yo's, getting drunk, getting laid, and getting stoned every weekend? No, Elizabeth, I commend you for making realistic choices in your life. Few young adults have such a head start on their lives - instead they founder for the first few years in bad decisions and struggle later to make up for it, or never recover.

I once approached a co-worker about a dilemma I faced on a work project, for her advice. If I made the wrong decision, it could cost the company tens of thousands of dollars - but there were no guidelines that applied this particular situation. She told me: "Just do the best you can do. Gather as much information as possible, weigh the pros and cons, and just decide what YOU think is the right thing to do, then DO it with confidence. No company worth working for would fire you for that, even if the results of your decision are disastrous. But if they do, then you can walk away with your pride intact knowing you did your best and you did the right thing." This has been some of the best advice I have EVER recieved.

Good luck to you - and please keep us informed on how things turn out for you! And congratulations on making the appt. with the technical college - I see rainbows on your horizon!