Kids at your house

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Kids at your house
Thu, 05-15-2003 - 9:47am
I need to ask everyone a question regarding kids who visit your house - with their parents.

How many of you have to put up with parents who allow their children run through your house getting into everything, while they sit and do nothing? How many of you have to physically lock all the doors because the parents don't keep an eye on their children?

My husband and I have two children, ages 9 and 13 - they are, obviously, beyond the babyproofing age. However, we own 4 baby gates, a high chair, baby toys and have locks on all of our doors.

I was just wondering if mine was an isolated case or if alot of you out there have to put up with this behavior from other families.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
Thu, 05-15-2003 - 10:30am
Everyone that comes over to my place watches their kids.I can't imagine visitors letting the kids run wild.Hmmm. ~cherrysnaps~
Avatar for tinderdoc
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Thu, 05-15-2003 - 12:29pm
I've only had a few experiences where we've had other people's kids (our nephews) running loose in our house. The 4-yr old found a model car on our entertainment center (DH had the car on his groom's cake, so it has a lot of sentimental value). Now the car no longer has wheels, and we have searched the house high and low for them. We asked the precious boy where he put them, and he 'didn't do it', so he 'doesn't know where they are'. So, no, you aren't the only one who puts up with it. Whenever they come over now (which isn't too often), we put all the valuables out of reach of little hands, keep bedroom & bathroom doors shut, and keep our eyes peeled for any mischief.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 05-15-2003 - 1:15pm
One of my SIL's lets her two year old run wild. She doesn't believe in saying "no" to a child so you can imagine how well behaved he is. He has only been to my house a few times (my SIL decided to call me up the day after we had a big halloween party and tell me how she always felt unwelcome in my home and uncomfortable around her family when I was there...that is just the tip of the iceberg but you get the drift.). Anyway, she hasn't been invited over since then. Last time he was over he was about 17 months old. She let him run all over the house by himself. She lets him walk around covered in cake or chocolate or whatever he has eaten and takes offense when you try to clean him up so he doesn't destroy your furniture, carpet, etc. I just saw him last weekend and he dumps toys out all over the place and she doesn't even try to help clean up. I also had to retrieve him along with my almost 5 year old from the front yard of this party. She wasn't watching him at all. It is incredibly annoying. Of course my MIL thinks the sun rises and sets on this kid so that only makes it worse. There are 6 other grandchildren who get the short end of the stick every time. UGH!! But I digress. I think if she ever does come over again (which it will have to be a cold day you know where) but I think I would say something to her instead of letting the kid ruin my stuff. It really bothers me when people think they can go somewhere and have others watch what their kids are up to. Either my dh or myself are always watching the kids when we are at someone elses house (at ours too!). It's just common courtesy.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Thu, 05-15-2003 - 4:12pm
My house = my rules.

I don't care whose child is at my home, they will adhere to my rules. I will correct any child who tries to break anything or touch what they have been told not to. No ifs, ands, or buts. I have never apologized to any parents, just explained the rules.

If we are out in public and the child is about to get hurt or hurt something else, I will correct the child. I would rather a parent get mad at me then have to go to the hospital (been there before).

Maybe it is the teacher in me, but I REFUSE to have children run wild in my presence.

I have a 2 1/2 year old and work very hard to make him behave in a civilized manner. Why on earth would I let another child act like an animal around me or him?

(I know a child who behaves for me but won't for his mom because I will yell at him and correct him)

Ejkdmom Come visit my store:
Avatar for cl_starrzz_n_moonzz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-16-2003 - 4:30pm
I have to answer yes to this question. Sometimes when parents come over with their kids( no babies like seven and ten) and their kids are acting up they just kinda sit there and keep on talking like they do not hear them. The kids even come in to their mom and say "Mommy I am hungry or thirsty" while they are looking at me. Sometimes I just want to say why you take your kids home and feed and water them. That is so bad of me to admit but I think it sometimes. I know quite a few people who come into our homes and others that they feel like I should discipline, yes I have rules and when they break them I tell them and so forth but I also feel if I tell them once the next time the parent should step up to the plate and remind them so I don't have to repeat myself. I am not saying my DS is an angel, but he knows are rules and seems to abide them pretty well until his friends come over and all @@@@ breaks loose.

So nope you aren't the only one. Have a good one~~~~Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2003
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 4:12pm
well my kids are 19 and 16 but i have many many neices and nephews, they know at my house they can rip and run and be kids.... i spoil them . however they also know aunt helen's boundaries and they know as well as their parents know whats allowed an whats not. you have to have boundaries with friends or relatives. because believe you me they will take advantag of it.

when my kids were little they had boundaries and knew to pick up after themselves as do my neices and nephews. i never let them leave my house until the kids mess was cleaned up. its not just respect but hey there kids the ones who made the mess why should you clean it up?
Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 7:18pm
I don't allow children in my house who can't behave. If someone comes over with their children and they let their kids misbehave, I just don't invite them back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2002
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 8:32pm
My house, my rules - except there was one time I will never forget...

My DF was building a large deck on the back of our house - 8 feet off the ground - and badly needed some skilled help. He asked a couple of friends from work, who brought their tools (also badly needed). I'm thinking this is GREAT! Yay! That was until their wives/girlfriends showed up, with the darling little kiddies in tow.

So picture this: a construction zone. Power tools, nails, saws, loose boards, ladders, extension cords, sweaty men swinging boards around, etc. Enter a 2yo, 3yo and 6yo, barefoot, right into the middle of things while their mothers chit-chat and ignore the dangers. I'm about on the verge of either panic for the kids or a nuclear meltdown with the mothers, whom I had never met before they walked into our house.

What to do? Of course, my first reaction was to politely tell the mothers that a construction zone is NO place for a child, ask them to leave, and then politely invite them to come back later and enjoy a barbeque with us on the deck, when it is FINISHED. But not knowing these women or their SOs, I was afraid of offending them, who might then gather up the tools and leave my DF completely stranded.

So I bit my tongue, did the best I could to lay some ground rules for the kids speaking loud enough that their mothers could hear clearly, and set up the backyard sprinkler to distract them. Once they were into the sprinkler, I rushed through the house looking for anything I could to keep them occupied. Ice cream sandwiches, toys left behind by Christmas visitors, ANYTHING. Meanwhile, mommies continued in their chit-chat, completely oblivious to my distress. GRRRRR!!!

Meanwhile, I peek through the window and see the kiddies are fascinated with a dog we have tied up on a chain at the far end of the yard and are quickly making their way towards him. This dog, a beautiful boxer, is a temporary visitor until his owner (my fiance's grown son) gets his living arrangements straightened out. Now the boxer, Rusty, came recently from a very abusive environment and is just beginning to socialize to humans again. We've almost got some meat back on his starved bones and he's beginning to show some playfulness and trust. I DO NOT trust this dog to play "nice" with the kiddies, adding to my panic. So, I find Rusty's muzzle and put it on him, then position myself on a lawn chair firmly between the dog and the zone of activities and keep the kiddies at a safe distance and Rusty calm.

I don't know how I managed through the next eight hours, or the number of times I had to take a power tool (skil-saw, power drill - even the nail gun-deadly!) out of the 2yo's hands, and pull the 3yo off the ladder, or visa-versa. Finally got the deck finished, and we did have a barbeque and all made nice-nice with each other, but I'm sure these mothers thought I was a lunatic.

My DF thinks I made too big a deal out of it, and was not concerned in the least. (?!?!?!?!) I had visions of severly injured children and million-dollar lawsuits swimming through my brain. In hindsight, I should have stood my ground and chased these irresponsible and stupid parents off the property, and let my DF find another way.

Thank GOD that's over. I made it very clear to my DF that if it EVER happens again, he will be on his OWN with whatever project he's in.




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 8:36pm
Semi-related story:

Last year I was at a barbecue. There was another child there with the same name as my son, we will call him Evan. Well, there was this large dog (I think golden retreiver) that was a sweetheart but the other Evan kept following around this dog and pulling its tail!! My Evan followed him around and was watching (He knew better than to pull the tail) and I was watching both of them. The other boys mom was around and I think (not sure) she was watching him sporadically. There was also about 6 or so adults between me and the kids.

Well, the dog started to snap at the boy. You know, turning its head around but not yet biting. It was really trying to be good. Well trained dog, but hey, if you start pulling something of mine I will eventually bite!

I saw him doing this again and no one else, not the mom, was saying anything so I yell "Evan, stop" and walk over to the boys. Evan stopped and the dog ran away. Then his mom comes up just as I get behind my son. She looks at me and says in a very nasty tone "Oh, I thought you were talking to MY son" I look at her and say "I was. He was pulling the dogs tail and about to get bit" She looked horrified that I would dare correct her son. At that point, this burly man with tatoos says "Yeah, the dog was about to bite him". She takes her son and puffs and huffs away!

Ejkdmom Come visit my store:
Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-23-2003 - 1:29pm
Gotta love those huffy puffy moms.