Life changes in a split second

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Life changes in a split second
Mon, 11-19-2012 - 7:14pm
I'm not really sure if I have any words of wisdom or need advice but I'm so heartbroken and scared right now. I've posted several times about my Mother's narcisistic behavior and my sister's borderline personality and how she's just mean to people. My sister went to the ER on Thursday because shes had some numbness down her right side. My phone rang and it was her asking me for a huge favor....she needed me to go to my Mom's and tell her in person that they had taken a chest xray and they found a mass on her lungs...and a CT has shown nodules on her brain. It appears that the cancer hes spread to her brain which will be confirmed with an MRI. I'm devastated....I complain about her but shes my sister! First and foremost we love each other. She's 55 years old with 3 grown children and is anxious for a Grandbaby.... I am stunned and I've never felt so alone and helpless. I'm going to watch her struggle to live and with the odds of lung her die. Her children are my life and I can't do anything but be there for them. I get a call today from my oldest niece's. MIL needing answers and to ask what she could do...she said she called me because she didn't want to bother my sister or my mother....what about me??? How am I going to do this??? San
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
Sat, 11-24-2012 - 12:54am
Sorry about your sister. I also would suggest you to relly on God, to give you His strenght. With Him next to us, is the only way to cope with this kind of situations.Support your sister as far as you can, but also never forget to take care of yourself. If we are fine, we can help, If we are not, we can´t. Surrender to God´s will, acceptance gives us peace, and peace gives us strenght. Things are in His hands, not in ours. (((huggs)))
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2012
Wed, 11-21-2012 - 11:05pm

I've been in your shoes only it was my mother who had cancer. I have 2 brothers and a sister but it was left to me and my sister and eventually only me. I am the person everyone relies on. I am the strong one. ( or so the think ) I'd watched my father die of cancer a few years earlier I knew what to expect. I know medical jargon I'm a medical professional too. My mother had small cell lung cancer. I say had because she is now in remission And has been for a year. I travel an hour one way to take care of my mom. But I don't regret it. Isherwood needs me I'm there. She and I haven't always gotten along but she's family. You can do it you can be strong for your nieces and nephews. Sometimes all they need is someone to listen. I wish you and your family the best of luck With your sister's treatment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Wed, 11-21-2012 - 3:06pm

  I am sooo sorry! I agree with the OP that you may have to find strength within yourself to be the "go to" person and just try to stay strong during this time.  Turn to GOD and HE will give you the strength you need.  HE was MY strength 5 years ago during the worst time of my lie, so I know of which I speak.

3 years ago, my dh (who was my SO at the time) suffered an aneuryism and I wasn't sure if he'd make it.  I remained strong and, one day, my mother called me and asked me how I was doing (the first time anyone had asked me that) and I remember saying, "Well, Mom...I'm ok.  I'll break down another day."  I never did and somehow found the strength to just accept what was happening and that whatever happened was God's will.  That acceptance allowed me the strength to get through it.  It's really true...when you "let go and let God", life becomes more bearable.

Please keep us updated.

Avatar for cowboys_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2010
Mon, 11-19-2012 - 8:46pm

awww San, I am sooooo sorry!  Frown

You may just have to be the 'go to gal', because everyone knows they can rely on you.  Just 'try' to be strong, in this time & be there (number 1) for your sister.  She will be afraid and she will need someone to be strong for her and tell her, everything will be okay. (even if it won't be)  The reason I know this is, I was diagnosed with a brain condition, in my late 20's, the doctors weren't sure what was going on until I had further testing & just having my family there & hug me & tell me, everything will be fine, meant everything to me! I am sorry this is going on... Frown

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend