A lot on my mind
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|Sun, 09-14-2003 - 4:21pm|
My sister just laughed when she found out what happened. Noone is really surprised my stepmother left, we were all surprised that it wasn't sooner, but that's not the point. This whole thing really really scares me, I am scared for my father, I do not like my sister's reaction, I don't approve of a lot of stuff my father has done. In fact I do not like him at all as a person, and I'd rather not visit him. He is extremely selfish, and did not help raise any of his kids. I would rather just be neutral in this whole situation, call my Dad once a week to find out what's going on, talk to his friends, etc. My sister and my mom thinks that I am "weak" because of this. I really don't want to do more than this, I am not comfortable with helping out anymore.
This whole thing is just really really sad, I am reminded that I never really had a father to begin with, that I had to behave as an adult at a very early age because he is so child-like. He is really really weak.
I have had to be "strong" my whole life, try to be there for everyone, and not totally disappoint my father. This makes me feel lonely. The thing is, my father totally disappointed me, and the rest of his children. As you can tell I am proccupied. I realize I think way too much, and I should be content that I am doing the right thing, but I am not. I am really scared.