Love them but want to leave them!
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|Sat, 10-01-2011 - 2:03pm|
This is just my venting before I explode. DD & DH are unreachable and so hope you don't mind being my sounding board. History - I'm an only child whose father died when I was 18, Mom started dating 6 wks later & married 18 mths after. Mom & Dad had problems due to faults on both their sides. Mom has been an alcoholic & recovering alcoholic since I was at least 6, so for 50 yrs. She is an emotional drinker who can stop with no side effects. It seems that no matter what I do it isn't enough & I'm so tired of doing everything for her. She was the primary caregiving for my Grandmother who was an amazing woman who deserved every attention she got. Gram was 65 when I was born and died 29 yrs later. This remarkable woman raised me and until a yr before her death at 94 was cooking for Mom & doing light housekeeping. Mom worked & found that she had enough to do with working 40 hrs a week, some housework & gardening. Dad did the laundry/ironing & shared cooking with her. My Mom retired at 45. I am 55, work at least 60 hrs a wk, have 3 kids & a grandchild with special needs plus I am primary caregiver for both Mom & her husband, SD. Mom told me today that when she was younger, she didn't have time to write letters to my Gram if she was away visiting her other children. But apparently, I'm supposed to find time to spend a day each week with my Mom and it's perfectly ok to have to take a vacation day to drive her to medical appts where she used to live because she pays her own way. DH just took her to an appt 2 hrs away last week & she did pay for the gas then take him out for lunch. It's the first time she has done this in the last 12 mths & I swear it's because he took her. I pay for everything when I'm doing the running around or she will give me a list of what she needs, then hand me $20 to cover $40 worth of shopping. She isn't stupid or clueless. She is very sharp financially but she is very sneaky. She likely needs the other $20 for alcohol.
12 mths ago Mom & my SD moved into a retirement home as they weren't able to live alone. Mom was having health issues & SD's dementia was becoming more troublesome. They lived 2 hrs away but