Major Crisis...Need Help!
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|Fri, 10-10-2003 - 7:43pm|
I am experiencing something right now that most people don't have to go through. My divorce was final on May 19, 2003. I filed for divorce due to my ex-husband's infidelities, lies, and money spending habits. We have a 3 year old baby girl together.
In early September, I discovered that he had tried to obtain credit by using my social security number and name by applying for credit cards over the internet. He put me as the borrower and him listed as the co-signer or authorized user but his address, his contact phone numbers. He even used my mother's maiden name.
I took action...put a fraud alert with the credit bureaus, filed a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission, and as hard as it was, filed a police report. I was able to obtain through the different banks copies of the online applications which I turned over to the police. I even had one of the banks research to see what IP address was used for the online application; which I also turned over to the police.
I asked him what he did, he said he did not know what I was talking about.
On October 1, my ex attempted to have me served with court papers at work. He actually wants to open up the divorce papers again, hold me in contempt of not complying with visitation of our daughter (which is bogus...there has been occassions that he hasen't even shown up), and wants money.
This week the fraud/identity case was assigned to a detective within the police department. And, yesterday, my ex was confronted at work by 2 county police officers. They went through his apartment, confiscated his computer, and went through his work.
And to boot, yesterday was out daughter's third birthday.
He immediately started harrassing me at work with emails and phone calls demanding that I fix it and stop any proceedings. He turned on me and said I did this to him and it was my fault. He said he is going to lose his job and it is my fault. Also, he is Canadian and has the threat of being deported now. He asked me how I am going to feel when our daughter asks me why I made her daddy lose his job.
I need help working through my feelings. I am experiencing tremendous guilt and sadness. But, I did not do this. He made the conscious decision to commit a felony, break federal laws, and attack me once again. But, I don't want to be responsible for someone losing their job, or going to jail, or be deporting. I feel guilty for the possiblity of taking my daughter's father away from her. I am sure what he went through yesterday was just terrifying. But he did this to me? Right? No one made him do this. To me, this is a big deal. He was declined on the credit cards he applied for; but there may be more I have not found yet. If I had not done something, I could be sitting here in debt up to my ears with no financial future for me or my daughter. I am convinced if he had gotten the credit cards he would have maxed them out like his others and let me pay for the consequences.
Please help me rationalize this! I need desperate help here. I would not hurt a fly and am completely out of my eliment with this police stuff. I have never even gotten a speeding ticket and I am 34 years old. I don't know what to do or think. My head is spinning.