Marrying for love or money?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Marrying for love or money?
4
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 12:58pm
Here's an odd question: What do you all think are the classic signs of a social-climbing gold digger? A dear cousin of mine is about to be married and I (along with many other family members) fear that his fiancee is more interested in his financial status and the material items she can gain from this wedding than anything else. I don't know what to do because I am so worried for him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 7:12pm
If there is a family member that is particularly close to him, maybe they can talk to him about it. I don't know what good it will do, but that person can try to talk to him. If your cousin doesn't see it (and most people are blinded by love), then he is just going to have to live with the consequences of what he is doing. Maybe everything will turn out fine, or maybe she really is after his $$$.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 5:52pm
Hi.I'm new to these boards (reading this post made me want to join!), I just wanted to reply to your posting. I'm actually in your cousin's fi's shoes. I'm engaged to a wealthy man. I just have a thought about the previous "blinded by love post": people don't get to be in a financially stable position because they can't read people. On the contrary they get there because they are very good at judging a person's intentions. Myself, I've been on my own since I was 17 ( over ten years now). I struggled to put my self through college and now have a sucessful career. I'm not rich, but I can pay my bills and take care of myself. My fi is actually proud of that fact, and that's what he says initially attracted him to me. I can spot a "free loader" 5 miles away(I did't get this far alone by being blinded by emotion). Trust me, your cousin can too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2004
Mon, 08-02-2004 - 8:12pm
There is nothing you can do. Anything you say will be met with hostility. I am assuming this is an adult (over 25). If this is a dear cousin, perhaps you can mention the idea of a pre-nuptual agreement.
Co-community Leader of this board!
Co-community Leader of this board!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 3:38pm
There seems to be a huge issue in our society, with wanting to slap the "gold-digger" label on women. The fact is, if the man in question has considerable wealth, almost any woman who marries him could be labeled a gold digger - whether she really is one or not! Do you think its fair? (Also, haven't you noticed that nobody ever talks about men who marry wealthy women or labels them as gold diggers?) I think its a common slur used against women, and I am just tired of it. If you do not like your cousin's fiance, you are entitled to feel that way. But I wouldn't broach the subject with him of "she might be a gold digger" because he would probably take offense. And it wouldn't change anything.