Meddling mother, irrational sister
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|Tue, 04-15-2003 - 9:47pm|
Anyway, she has always complained that I don't visit her enough. Last summer her boyfriend broke up with her unexpectedly and she asked me to come stay with her for a week. I did, and have regretted it ever since. She was unbelievably rude to me and my little boy the whole time, and when I confronted her about it (as kindly as possible), she flew off the handle, kicked me out, and didn't speak to either of us for five months. I tried to make contact again and have gone out to visit her very briefly three times since. The first two trips were wonderful, just like how I imagined sisters should be. When I went down this past weekend, though, she was truly awful. I was only there for two days and contracted food poisoning during my stay, so didn't have the energy to confront her. When I returned, I confided in my mother about how disappointed I was. Well, mom turned around and called little sis, telling her everything I'd said (in a gossipy way, you understand, not to tell her that it wasn't right).
No clue what to do now. My family has always tiptoed around my sister, constantly afraid of triggering one of her dreadful temper tantrums, and I'm sick of it. Everyone always says, "You know how she is," but to me that is not an acceptable excuse. Apparently they consider it fine if a 27-year-old woman sits at the Thanksgiving dinner table ignoring everyone just because she lost a friendly game of Trivial Pursuit. The entire family feels like she's only nice to us when it's convenient. The problem is, if anyone calls her on her bad behavior, she flies into a rage and ignores us for months. I'd love to have a good relationship with her, but I'm starting to wonder if this will ever be possible.
I'm also not happy with my mother for telling my sister how I felt--it simply wasn't her place, and she's created a huge conflict, which I don't need since I am also going through a divorce. She did this once several years ago, and promised never to do it again. I'm going to be much more selective about what I tell her from now on.
So, does anyone have any clue what to do about the sister problem? Is it possible to divorce family the same way you can divorce spouses?