MIL is dying and it's killing me

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
MIL is dying and it's killing me
12
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 4:11pm

My mother-in-law has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and doesn't have very long to live; though no one will give us a timeframe (maybe weeks, maybe months).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 5:46pm

Big Hugs,

That is a hard situation to be in.

Hugs,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 6:06pm

Thanks so much for taking time out of your busy day (I'm sure) to send me a note.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 7:00pm

Welcome to the board SD. That is a tough spot to be in and her not getting along doesn't help. Have you looked into having her move into a hospice or a nursing home? Assisted living can be quite expensive, but that could be an option too.

My friend and her DH had her father in law staying with them. He began to show signs of dementia and hit them a couple of times. They moved him into a nursing home, because they couldn't live that way. They felt really bad, because the FIL was not happy. But it was the best thing for them to do.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2008
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 7:03pm

I'm so sorry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Sun, 09-12-2010 - 10:03am

Thank you so much for thinking about my situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Sun, 09-12-2010 - 10:08am

You are a dear for listening to me vent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 12:10am

You have a tough row to hoe.... So sorry about that.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2009
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 8:58am

You are so right - there's very little to be said.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 9:42am

You are doing the right thing, by keeping a lot of the venting away from your husband. He is dealing with a lot of mixed feelings (guilt, sadness).

I'm hoping he'll see how peaceful it was while she was in care and he'll see how crazy things get when she is there. The guilt should diminish and he just might place her somewhere. As she nears toward the end, it will probably be a neccessity, because she'll need 24 hour care.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 9:59am

Hey, I went through this almost verbatim with my own mother.

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