MIL/FIL a problem in future?
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|Mon, 05-12-2003 - 11:54pm|
my boyfriend and i will be getting married pretty soon. i love him very much, and when you marry a person, you marry his ENTIRE family. am i right? well, his mom is a nice person. shes thoughtful, like when she sees, for example, my favorite candy for sale, she picks it up for me. nice things like that.
well, recently, my boyfriend's brother and his wife had a baby. our MIL made a promise that when this baby was born, that she would quit smoking. did that happen? no. she smokes INSIDE the house, and this frustrates everyone, but she wont hear it. she gets pi$$ed off when someone mentions something about her smoking. she is also not very active, really at all. her health worries me at times. in fact, my grandmother died when i was in kindergarden of lung cancer from smoking, and i see the same pattern here with my future MIL. when i have kids, i dont want them to have to lose their grandmother early on because shes too stubborn to quit smoking. whats worse is that she wont even go outside to smoke, she smokes inside, even when there are a number of people in the room! i worry about the second hand smoke, when im sitting right there, and when children are around.
thats not all. she acts as if she hates her husband, and hes the main breadwinner of the family. im sure the only reason that she wont divorce him is because they couldnt afford it. she has a low-paying hourly rate job, and he has a decent job that puts a roof over everyones head.
which brings me to the next point, that i see her CONSTANTLY buying cigarettes, and things that are very expensive that she does not need. and she buys things for others that i know for a fact that she can't afford ( i know this isnt any of my business, just something i noticed). her husband does this as well. i dont think they are in debt. but there are MANY things that need to be taken care of. like, my FIL needs a new car desperately, but they cant afford one. but she just got a new truck, which they couldnt afford, and she decides to smoke in there too( i see this as not taking care of your vehicle, but thats me). shes pretty much the head of the household. they really need to do some SERIOUS work around the house and the house is hardly ever cleaned. but shes lazy, and doesnt clean, and they both have no money for repairs, because they blow their money on things they dont need!
i know im rambling, its helps to vent. i was raised in a household where the man is head of the house. my dad is a financial GENIUS in my eyes. hes very good with money, and i see his finance habits, and others- my dad refuses to finance much of anything, cars, tv's, all that. he now owns 5 cars, 3 houses, and a motorcycle, all of which either paid full in cash, or houses paid off as soon as possible. but none of which were the slightest bit easy. those things are what he saved up for over long periods of time, and not spending money on unnecessary things that he could be saving, etc etc. i worry about my MIL and FIL when they retire and when they pass, am i going to be left with the financial responsibility of fixing the house they refused to fix? (that happened also to my dad with my mom's parents, which set them back BIG TIME, so thats why i worry about it)
im a worrier by nature, but these things are what i see in the not too distant future- and when i have seen this before, i know that it is a definate possibility.
PS: SORRY FOR THIS BEING AS LONG AS A NOVEL! (LOL)