Mom missed birthday

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
Mom missed birthday
10
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 7:49pm

Hi all,

I just turned 31 on Monday and not only did my mom not call on both my son's birthday's she didnt call on mine either. My mom and I have always been very close but here recently I have just began to notice things that bother me. She has not visited my home sense Christmas but I have made several trips to her house so that I can see her. She doesnt visit my twin brother either and

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 8:28pm

You need to tell her. She may not realize that she is missing these milestones. Especially since you two talk all the time.

Hugs.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 9:38pm

I really feel for your situation...it's so hard to imagine not being to be close to your children or grandchildren!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 10:13pm

She and I spoke last Sat. and I told her that we needed to get together and cook because she had taken some days off to go see my older brother and had a few days left of that vacation and she told me "that sounds good but I have to see what Charles has going on" (he is my step dad) and I didnt hear back from her. I have mentioned things like that several times and she never knows what is "going on". She said she wanted to get the kids for a week during the summer and never did. She didnt come to one baseball game this year and my son was the star pitcher for his team! 2 games were 10 mins from her house.

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2007
Fri, 10-22-2010 - 12:13am

I really don't have any advise for you but just wanted you to know that I understand what you are feeling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Fri, 10-22-2010 - 9:05am
Sorry for you ladies that have these problems with your moms and MIL's. It's a shame when kids grow up without a "real" grandmother. There are people in my life that have the same issues. I do think kids are more resilient than we think. Kids seem to take most things as "it's just the way it is", especially when they have loving parents to make up for it all. Sometimes I think it's more of a problem for the adults than it is for the kids, because we know the full story of what is going on and what happened in the past. All kids know is "my grandmother is mean. I can't even ask for a cookie when we go visit". Of course as adults, we're always looking for a solution to the problem. I can't blame any of you for that. It's human nature to wish for healing in all our relationships.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
Fri, 10-22-2010 - 11:16pm

She called me yesterday on my cell and I didnt answer and the message she left broke my heart. She knew that something was up, and I could hear the grief in her voice= so I called her back and she said how busy she had been, which I know is true. I spoke with her briefly and then called her back when I got home. I broke down.......and told her that I didnt answer

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2010
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 7:15pm

Are you sure there isn't something wrong with her, medically.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2010
Thu, 10-28-2010 - 7:30pm
Good for you, Tracy. You took a very mature approach to resolving the situation. Keep working on it, and you two will get it all together!
Best Wishes
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Fri, 10-29-2010 - 1:24pm

Hopefully, your mum will step up to the plate a bit more and spend time with her grandchildren. I'm glad you told her how you felt, as she probably thought she was "getting away with it" in the social sense.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
Fri, 11-05-2010 - 1:45pm

I am positive there is nothing like that going on. She still works and has a very stressful job and just completly forgot. It doesnt help that my step dad is a total homebody. He doesnt like to go or do anything and I think he makes her feel guilty if she tries to go off by herself.
I told her that things HAVE to change and she needs to make more of an effort on her part to make time to see her grandkids cause they will never know what kind of person she was if god for bid something happen to her. To make matters worse, she was expecting to retire next year and then be more involved but it turns out that her job (that she has been at for 20 years) screwed her over and she cannot retire for another 4 years. I can only do so much to ensure they spend time with her....