Moral Dilemma

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Moral Dilemma
7
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 2:49pm
My husband and I have encountered a moral dilemma. His parents gave us a car for free back in October because they were buying a new one and we only had one car at the time. So we accepted the car and got the title transferred. Lately, my husband has been mentioning that he wants to go back to having one car to save money and to simplify things. Fine with me. Selling the car would probably give us about $4000 and help us to pay off some credit cards. Besides the car just passed 100,000 miles and we don't have the money to repair major things that will be breaking soon. Everyone that I have talked to said that its your car, do what you want with it, they gave it to you. My husband called his parents the other night to see what they thought about us selling it. His mom said well its your car, but then turns to his Dad and asks "Do you want your car back?" (For free of course!) We want to get rid of the car, but at least make some money off of it because we have poured some money into it with repairs and maintenance (and it is OURS now!). All I can think is the phrase "Indian Giver", we don't know what to do, would love to have some extra money right now to help out, but don't want to burn a huge bridge! What do we do?!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2002
In reply to: cksunshine
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 3:30pm
So did your husband's father say he wanted the car back?

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

.  -Albert Einstein

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
In reply to: cksunshine
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 3:33pm
We didn't hear an answer back out of him on the phone- so my husband is going to call again tomorrow to make absolutely sure they are ok with it. We still don't know what to do because when my husband was on the phone with them he kinda backed off the subject before his parents said something weird- like "just give us the car back" without us being able to maybe make money off of it (that we really need!)
Avatar for cl_starrzz_n_moonzz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: cksunshine
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 11:34am
I think if I were in the situation I would be looking at all the options. Are they wanting the car back because they would like a second car? Are they going to turn around and sell it for themselves? Is this what you and your DH really want to do? They may be thinking they gave you allthe car to help out and you all didn't really appreciate the gesture so they are wanting it back. Talk it over with them and let them understand what is going on. I htink if they really need the car and want it back I wou ld return it free of charge.

I hope it straightens out. Please let us know what happens. Hope to see you posting soon :) Until then~~~Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
In reply to: cksunshine
Sat, 04-19-2003 - 12:06am
The car is now yours, to do with what you want. But, nothing in life is easy, right? Maybe if you ask yourself this....what would we do about the money we need (for credit cards) or whatever, IF we did not have this car to sell for money?

I think maybe they gave you the car to help you out. They could not give you money, but they had a car to give instead, and now they may feel a bit insulted. They could have traded the car in on their new car, and profited that way, but they gave it to you instead.

You also have to ask yourself this, how long have you had the car to justify to them , selling it to avoid car repairs. Because they may ask you why you took it if you felt you would sell it due to it needing car repairs.

This is one of those situations that can cause a lot of problems. If you really need the money for something urgent, you have to explain to them why. I know you don't owe them this, but they are going to feel you owe them an explanation.

I think their feelings are just hurt, so if there is anything you can do to resolve this peacefully, try hard to go that route first. Good luck!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: cksunshine
Sun, 04-20-2003 - 5:21pm
This is kind of like looking a gift horse in the mouth from their perspective.

They gave you a car and instead of using it and appreciating it, you will be selling it and using the money for something else. Kinda like thumbing your nose at them. You needed a specific item and they gave it to you, now you are getting rid of it.

While it is your car, this is not that simple, this involves family. If they want it back, I would give it. Yes you put money into the car, but you paid no payments on it. Legally, you don't have to give it back, but morally, you should.

Ejkdmom Come visit my store: www.leorra.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: cksunshine
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 8:39am
How much did you spend in total in repairs? Say you spent a total of $1000.00 in repairs, that's only what I would sell it for - nothing more.

This is just my opinion. I know I wouldn't feel right selling it for more than what I felt I really deserved.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
In reply to: cksunshine
Tue, 04-22-2003 - 1:55pm
Good news!

My husband talked to his dad on Friday and they said that they don't mind if we sell it. They know that they are still helping us. That was such a relief that they support us and are ok about it! Thank you so much for the input!