MOther Daughter ISSUES
Find a Conversation
|Tue, 07-22-2003 - 10:33am|
Our father (my sister and I) passed away when I was 10, and they had been divorced since I was 2, so we were raised by our mother and never had any real relationship with our father. My mother never had a good paying job, but my grandparents (her parents) had money and supported her and subsequently supported us. They paid for us to have a live in nanny who fed us, bathed us, took us to school and put us to bed. They paid for us to go to private school, to college and eventually both of our weddings. We spent weekends, summers and holidays with them and even went on vacations with them. They were a very special part of our lives and they both passed away last year.
I can't sayt aht my relationship with my mother has always been strained, but I've never felt very close to her. I always felt like she didn't really "get" me. It's not that I'm that different, but I am different from her, she's artsy, member fo a book club, throws dinner parties, her status means a lot to her. I was in the restaurant business for 13 years, and that was never something she felt comfortable telling her friends about and she couldn't relate to me. I know this doesn't sound that bad, and it wasn't it was just a dissapointment to me that I never had the mother that I really wanted (too bad - I know)
Then my grandparents died last year and everything hit the fan. She assumed the position of Matriarch of the family (something she feels entitled to) and she believes that now she should be respected for who she is and all the money she has, now she has three homes. One my grandparents bought for her when she left my father, one belonged to my grandparents which she stole from my sister and I 12 days before my grandmother passed away, and one she bought (with money she didn't have)whch she is rebuilding with the money she inherited. She thinks she is this high and mighty important person when she is a regular person with money she didn't earn. The house she "stole" was willed to my sister and I for 12 years, and when my mother found out she confronted me and told me I'd have to sell it and give her 1/3 of the money, when I told her we'd think about it, she had my granparents sign a change to their will that gave her the house, than she denied that she ever did it.
I am writing today because it is a 16 months later and today we are going to our 1st therapy session and I don't know what I want out of it. my sister and I greed to go to therapy with her and to make an effort at reconciliation, but I don't know if I want her back in my life, and if I do what kind of person she will be.
Anyway thank you for letting me vent and any advice or comments would be greatly appreciated.