Mother In-law Issues!

Avatar for nikki_lav_2288
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2007
Mother In-law Issues!
10
Mon, 05-27-2013 - 12:00am

My mother in-law is very hard to deal with ugh! She complains about everything and she is staying with us. She is driving me crazy. Example I do not like Miracle Wip but she still eats in the tuna fish sandwich with the Miracle Wip in the tuna fish. She does not have social skills cause she never went to school and does not know how to read or write. She is a alcoholic so she wants to drink but she is not allowed to drink in my house. She thinks she is allergic to medications that have sleep aides in them but it is just the sleep aide making her sleepy. She wants live by herself and then she does not want to live by herself. She is not reponsible with her money and she blows it all. Then she wants me to wait on her hand and foot. I am not a slave and she needs to get up do stuff on her own. Thank you for letting me vent!

Christina

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Wed, 05-29-2013 - 9:37am

Just curious, what is it that it seems like you have a never-ending stream of annoying relatives staying with you?  A while ago it was a cousin, now your MIL.  Perhaps it would help to set some ground rules.  Sometimes people drive you crazy because you allow them to.  (Or you allow them into your house).

http://www.ivillage.com/forums/love-sex/family-friends/venting-about-family-friends/venting-about-family/cousin-so-annoying

She is driving me crazy. Example I do not like Miracle Wip but she still eats in the tuna fish sandwich with the Miracle Wip in the tuna fish. She does not have social skills cause she never went to school and does not know how to read or write.

WT_?  Unless she is forcing you to eat Micale Whip, what's wrong with her having it on HER sandwich?  As to schooling, I have known many people with little or no formal schooling with much better social skills and manners than college grads.

Avatar for nikki_lav_2288
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2007
Sat, 06-01-2013 - 3:16pm

Update she has calmed down and I am happy now! I am trying to have patients with her. She trying learn to like different foods.

Christina

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2010
Fri, 06-07-2013 - 4:10am
No offense, but in your criticisms, you point out that she did not go to school and does not know how to write, yet your posts are not very grammatically correct, either. My point is not to make you feel bad or insult you...it is merely to illustrate that perhap you are being a little unfair to her. At least in this case.
Avatar for nikki_lav_2288
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2007
Sun, 06-16-2013 - 3:00pm

But you are being very critical of my grammer any ways and so what I make few grammer mistakes. All my MIL does is complain about everything and anything in her life that is not going her way. She cusses at me and my husband all the time. Plus she gets angry with us all the time.  Wants us to wait on her hand and foot. She does not want to learn how to read or write cause she is lazy. I have offered to teach her how to read and write. You do not know how hard it is for me to be nice to her when does things to make me angry! She has been bad mother to my husband all his life by making him feel guilty about things. She stole my husband's money that he worked hard for his money when he lived with his parents. He had to leave the money at my house so she would stop taking it. Oh yeah beat up my husband when he was a teenager because he bought tubes for his bike and she wanted the money for beer. She even tired to steal the money my husband saved for him to move to be with me and we where married at that time. I am not unfair to her I was just stating facts that she did not know how to read or write. My mom does not know how to read or write either but she is willing to learn. My MIL depends on people for everything and we want her to be independent. Yes I do not want her living with us. She needs live on her own stop depending us for everthing. You think I am being unfair to her I think not! She done a lot of mean things to her kids and husband. My husband bends over backwards to help his mom she still treats him like dirt. I have no respect for her and I do not like how she treats my husband. She tried to give away food to the neighbor and we got on to her for that. So she got mad at us for getting on to her about that. Now she is offering a ride to the neighbor she does not know how drive and we do not have enough gas money to take her. Nor do we have enough food to give to people. She has done the same thing with other family members and they have all kicked her out. I try to be understanding towards her but she is very difficult to understand. Plus her hormones are out of wack and she does not want help for it either.

Christina

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Mon, 06-17-2013 - 8:54am

"My husband bends over backwards to help his mom she still treats him like dirt. I have no respect for her and I do not like how she treats my husband".

Sounds like the problem is with your husband more than your mother in law.  Basically he puts his mother before you.

All I can say is none of us get to choose our parents.  OK, she was a bad mother to your husband when he was young, but as a grown man, he needs to stand up for himself and set some boundaries with his mother.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
Tue, 06-18-2013 - 8:51pm

I really don´t know what to say here. The only thing I think is that I´ll rather die homeless and sick in a street than being with one of my kids and their partners. I don´t know if this woman deserves what you say about her, but you seem to be a person who doesn´t have the sligtest mercy for a person who hasn´t have the luck to receive and education and who isn´t able to read and write.If she doesn´t like the tuna the way she prepares it to herself, I can´t get why that has to be a problem for you. If she likes to eat /&%$ and later she complain it is her businesss.Complainig is whay all old people do. You are young and are a COMPLAINER. You don´t like her and that´s the problem, if you are right or wrong for not liking her it is only for you to look inside you and your real motives.But for me, you sound like a spoiled teengare who dislikes everything. A little bit of patience and mercy won´t hurt you a bit.

Avatar for nikki_lav_2288
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2007
Sun, 06-30-2013 - 9:13am

I am not a spoiled teenager I am just person that does not put up with my MIL's complaining. She is in our house and eating our food we bought. So she has no right to complain about not liking Miracle Whip in the tuna fish. She can go buy her mayo and put it in the tuna fish. I am venting here and rude feedback is not wanted okay. I am stressed out by MIL cause she does not leave me alone. She uses my bath and body works body washes that I do not want her to use. She uses my shampoo and conditioner that is for my fine hair and she has thick hair. I just want her to leave my products that I use alone those are mine. She drinks a whole gallon of chocolate milk and thinks that milk is just for her. The same thing with the regular milk and eggs too. She even tried to give away our food to the neighbor she has been visiting with. Then she popped our blow up bed that she was sleeping on. Even her other son does not want her live with him cause she does same thing to him. My hubby her own son wants her to move out cause he is tired of her complaining and using things that does not belong to her. She has been kicked out of alot of family members houses cause she complains and uses their things. She done this all her life and she will never change. She just barges in my room without knocking and I do not want her in my room. I am trying to be patient with her it takes all my strength but she will be moving soon and my house will be back to normal. She wants her own place also and I do not blame her.  I know she wants to be the boss here but can not cause it is my house and my rules. She can be the boss of her place when she moves and have her own rules. She is not drinking alcohol in my home cause she gets rowdy and I have had all I can stand of a alcoholic. My dad is a alcoholic and so is my MIL they are not nice drunks they very mean drunks. Me and husband have had deal with alcoholic parents that is why it is hard to have people living with us. We enjoy being quiet and his mom talks from time she get up until time she goes to bed. People living with us messing up our routine in our life. We lived with my mom for several years and she is Bi-Polar so you see we have put up with way too much drama. My MIL has Bi-Polar disorder also I just can not put up with her mood swings. I have only been 2 years free of our parents living with us. I do not want anyone living with us but they can visit. Staying a few days is fine also. Who wants their MIL's living with them? I know do not want her here with me! My husband does not want my mom living with us. We are a married couple we have no kids just our two chihuahuas that we love like they where our kids. I am done with parents living with us it does not mean I do not love them. I did this for my husband but I knew it would not work out and I had to let him learn hard way. Now he knows he did the wrong thing by letting his mom stay with us. He knows how his mother acts and he should never brought her here in the first. Feeling sorry for her is what my husband did but now he is annoyed with her. Yeah I am bit angry with him about this situation. He knows how I feel about her and her drinking problems. Plus her mental health issues on top her drinking problems ugh!!!!!!!!!! I would not be here venting if she had not come to live with us. I was perfectly fine until she came to live with us. I just want her gone that is all cause I am tired of her drama.

Christina

Avatar for nikki_lav_2288
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2007
Sun, 06-30-2013 - 10:02am

No I do not like her and I have good reason to not like her. She has hurt my Father In-Law that I adored and still wished he was with us! She cheated on her husband all through their marriage and treated him very awful too. He had to deal with her alcoholic anger and her beating my husband up cause he did not give her his paycheck. So in her head she did nothing to her husband and children. She thinks she a saint but she is not one. Her children take care of her and she treats horrible if they do not agree with her. She is on SSI and she is not responsible with her money. She blows her money on beer and junk food instead of paying her rent. Then asks us for money that we do not have to give her. No we have never given her money cause she would not pay her rent or the bills. She is also gullible she gives people food that have money to go buy food. She gives money away and complains about it later on to me and my husband. This why she is with us cause she gave her money away to her nephew and when the money was gone he kicked her out. She went her brothers house and the same thing happened. Yes her family all do that to her expcept us. But she will never be able to live on her own cause she is not responsible enough to pay her rent and bills. I think it is a waste of our time getting her a application for apartment cause she will go back to her family that take her money. What she wants is for my husband to take care of her and let her live with us. Plus give her his pay check and that is not happening at all. She thinks the world revolves around her and it does not. She wants to go out to eat everyday and wants us to pay for it also. We have to sneak out go out to eat without her sometimes. You can not have leftovers from restaurant she will eat the leftovers. She gets upset if you buy yourself food eat it in front her. She thinks everytime you go get fastfood you should buy her some too. She has her own money and she needs buy her own food. She is a diabetic does not need the fastfood she eats anyway. She fed the stray cat my dogs expensive dog food so I called the animal control they took cat away. She even wanted my Subway gift card that my grandma gave for me my birthday and yes I had to buy her food to shut her up or she would have been mad at me. I can not even eat in peace without her wanting the food. The lady has to have to breakfast everyday she went through 3 and half dozen egg by herself. She fries them which is not heathy at all.

Christina

Avatar for nikki_lav_2288
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2007
Sun, 06-30-2013 - 9:40pm

No my Mother in-law is the one does not like Miracle Whip in the tuna fish but she ate anyway. She is getting her own place soon so my problem is solved. She is trying to take over my house but I am not letting her!

Christina

Avatar for nikki_lav_2288
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2007
Sat, 07-13-2013 - 4:31am

Update my mother in-law is moving back to San Antonio. She can not make up her mind where to live. It has been a trying time for these three months having my mother in-law live with us! I am happy she is leaving our home and now our life can get back to normal. I know I should be more patient with her but it is very hard to. I was not knocking her for not knowing how to read or write. I feel bad that she only went to the third grade. I can teach her to read and write but she does not want to so I will leave her alone. She has alot mental and emotional problems she needs help with we can not deal with that. She needs to go back to MHMR get help for her issues.

Christina