My brother...but his kid...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2003
My brother...but his kid...
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 10:54am
Hello all,

I would appreciate a little advise about something. I have a brother (half), that I pretty much don't care for. He's forever getting into trouble and just plain doesn't care whom it effects. And my mother always covers for him and bails him out of whatever situation he's gotten into. Anyway, he has a son, (toddler) whom I have taken quite a liking to. The issue is, I would like to spend time with the kid, (whom is living with another relative out of state). His father barely does anything for him, so I told my mother that I would go and get him and have him spend majority of the week with me while I'm on vacation. He can open the presents and stuff I got problem. But I will not carpool him around every second to his father just because his father says so. Nor will I drive 2+ hours to and from to get him and only spend a day with him. It seems he only wants to be bothered with the kid when someone else shows interest. I know he's not my kid, and I'd hate to just not bother with him just because I can't stand his father. What in the world should I do? Should I just send his gift to him and let his father go get him and take him back? Or should I go and get him and spend as much time with him as I want? I guess the third option would be to take him to his father and pick him up on Sunday, which cuts my time with him completely in half. Please help!

- I Love Life - 1

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2002
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 12:36pm
I think your best bet would be to do what is best for the CHILD. He's the one who is in the middle here, and that's a crappy place to be, especially when you're a toddler and it's Christmas. What you should do is try to talk to your (half) brother and ask him what his plans are for the holidays with his son. Maybe what you can do is spend time with his child after the holidays, when it's not such an emotional time for all involved. Or, yes, cut down on your time with him, but at least you will have him on your terms and can enjoy him without the drama. You did not mention the child's mother, is she not in the picture at all? If so, will she be wanting to see her child for the holidays as well? I hope that all works out for the best for you and your nephew. Happy Hoidays!

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

.  -Albert Einstein

Avatar for cl_2and1more
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 3:44pm

Merry Christmas

I guess I do not totally understand the situation.

Avatar for leslie2353
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 12-24-2003 - 7:39pm
No matter how much we want to spend time, no matter how much we love them little ones, if there's problem with their parents, there's not much we can do about it, even if we kick and pout until we're blue in the face IF THEIR PARENTS DON'T GIVE YOU THE TIME OF DAY, to make it easier so you have the opportunity to love and spend time with them, THERE'S JUST NOTHING ELSE WE CAN DO. It's the children who suffer, and that is very sad.

I've done the same to my 4 neices, instead, the more I give and the more I love them, the more I get miserable and turtored.

I give up, now it's too late, their all adults! All those wasted times, of childhood without the fun of enjoying neices and nephews. Again, their parents think it's OUR punishments, but they're really punishing their own kids, if they don't allow them to spend time with us. Merry Christmas. Leslie