My Dad is driving me crazy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2005
My Dad is driving me crazy
4
Mon, 07-04-2011 - 7:24pm

For many years (up to 2000) we had a very close relationship. He always said you can come talk to me. But in 2000 July, we got into this huge blow up over elder care. He told me to my face "This is my family and not yours" to my face. I felt like somebody had thrown cold water in my face. He then continued with a family trip to Las Vegas and smiled and laughed like nothing had happened! I felt so alone it was scary. I felt like I was on the outside looking in. I felt very cold and unreal. I felt like this stranger, my Dda, had stepped in and I'm looking around for the real one to step in. I asked him "what did I do wrong?" and He said "You don't have any experience in looking after elderly people and I do." I told him "I'd like to learn. Lets talk,Lets go to doctors who specialize in elder care,talk to Meals on Wheels,check out nursing homes,night nurses," He refused.Then he would turn on me and say I wasn't helping. I said I offered and you refused. Make up your mind. Whats worse is there are no jobs here. I feel trapped. My acid reflux is acting up. I have no money. No other family. My dad is in his fifties and he is doing this whole Jekyll/Hyde thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Wed, 07-06-2011 - 12:58am

Whose "elder care" are you trying to discuss?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Tue, 07-05-2011 - 5:00pm

I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated -- it sounds like a difficult situation to be in!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Tue, 07-05-2011 - 9:49am

I think it is probably time for you to branch out a bit further with the applications.

Big Hugs to you.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011
Mon, 07-04-2011 - 11:55pm

As for the bank account as you said it was set up when you were working and I'm assuming put money in as well. So it is understandable that he would feel you had no right to take money out when you had put none in without his permission. My mom had me on a joint account for years and since I had not put any money in that account I never took any out even though legally I could have since my name was on it, but morally I didn't feel right doing it and if there had came a time if I needed money I would have asked her permission.

Maybe your father is fed up with supporting you and that is why he is popping off at you. The best thing that you can do for yourself and father is find a job, any job, even at Mcdonalds and get your own place. If you are sending out all these resumes and not getting any responses, maybe you should have a professional look it over. sometimes our resume is the reason we're not getting the job or we're not interviewing well.

You say your father is not giving you respect, it hard to respect a grown person that is not carrying their own weight. Plus it's not your dad's responsibility to keep gas in your car or support you. I think you need to get a grip and a job quick, before your dad puts you out on the streets. Because as far as I can see you are probably driving your dad