My ex-husband and identity theft!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2003
My ex-husband and identity theft!
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 7:32pm

It has been a few months since my last post. To divorce was final on May 19, 2003 due to him (age 34) having an affair with a 20 year old college girl still living at home with her parents. We met when we were 10 years old, started dating at 16, and married at 25. And, we have a 2 year old baby girl together.

I think I am making great strides at rebuilding my life and making a healthy and loving atmostphere for our daughter. Then, 2 weeks ago, I was hit with a freight train of information and was thrown into the mouth of betrayal once again by my ex husband.

Because he cannot be trusted and has a long history of lies I was cautious when he asked me for our previous years tax returns. He said it was to refinance his car. I refused to give the tax returns to him. Me, being in the finance industry, knew that the probability of a bank needing previous years tax returns to refinance a car was pretty slim. Since I am still on that car loan, I called the bank to see what their underwriting standards were and they said they did not require tax returns but they had to tell me something. The next words I heard come through the phone that day threw me into a tail spin. They were, "An application came through our bank in August with your name and social security number as the primary card holder and my ex-husband as the co-signer applying for a $5000 credit card. But, it was denied. He used his address, his phone numbers, my mothers maiden name, and my social and he applied over the internet. He also said you were still married." I went into total shock. It was clear to me at this point what my ex had done. It is called identity theft and fraud and it breaks state and federal laws. My nightmare had begone once again.

So, for the next week I moved quickly. I put a fraud alert on my accounts with the 3 credit bureaus, contacted the Federal Trade Commission, and filed a police report. You know how difficult it was for me to file a police report against him? This is someone I was married to, had a child with, and at one point in my life, loved.

To date, I have discovered 2 inquiries on my credit; both by him trying to get credit cards using my information. He was not successful; that I know of. But, he took the chance and went further then I thought he would.

Just when I think he can't get any lower, he proves me wrong.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Fri, 09-26-2003 - 1:00pm
I just read your message, it never ceases to amaze me just how low some people can go. I am truly sorry for what happened to you, your ex sounds like a real loser who needs to start acting like an adult. You are doing the right thing, I don't know what else you can do except take your SSN off all of your bank accounts and replace it with something only you know. Most major banks will do this when identity theft is involved.

Do you have full custody of your child? If not, get it!

On a side note: Do all men act like children when something life altering occurs? I have never been married but I see this pattern over and over again, it makes me want to move out of this country for good, or never get married. Is there something wrong with the men in the U.S.? I read an article that says more and more men are not going to college, that American culture has somehow neglected them, and not developed them into stable adults. It is an interesting thought. Feminists agreed with this article but added on that all the progress we have made advancing women in education cannot be neglected, but we have to create programs to help boys succeed in the education system just as we have done for girls.

I wish you the best of luck.