My family is ruining my life...........

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
My family is ruining my life...........
5
Thu, 06-19-2003 - 3:42pm
My family is royal pain in my butt. I'm getting married in less than 6 weeks and all they are try to find ways to ruin it. I have one aunt who has problem with everything I do from buying my house and being happy. My family is some ride all by themselves that I'm supposed to take care of them; mind you when my mother died nobody took care of me, I had to take care of myself. I'm sick of everything, from begging for money, talking about behind my back that I'm stuck up because I go work everyday to pay for what I have. Now they think I'm supposed to get them a ride to my wedding; I'm I wrong if I change my plans and remove the walking down of my grandmother and just get married and stop all tides to these pathic people that are supposed to be my family???????
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2003
Thu, 06-19-2003 - 7:41pm
Congratulations on your wedding! I, too, am getting married in about four weeks and my family has been behaving badly, too. Here's my opinion, based on what I have learned from all this so far:

Hey, this is YOUR wedding! Of course you should not give all those people a ride. You tell them that you are sorry, but you will be getting dressed and fixing your hair at that time, so you cannot drive them. If they say they won't come unless you drive them, then say, "Well, we'll miss you!" Don't let these people push you around, especially on your special day. You were nice to invite them, but they have no right to ask more from you than an invitation.

I am not sure why you don't want your grandmother to walk in the wedding, but of course you have the right to decide how the ceremony will be done. If you already told her she'd be a part of it, just tell her you have made some changes and she is going to sit in a place of honor instead of walk. I wouldn't cancel the wedding now, but I would take control of the situation if I were you. These people can only manipulate and control you if you let them -- so don't! Be nice and polite, but do nothing further for them.

Good luck, Ms. Bride!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Fri, 06-20-2003 - 11:30am
Congrats on your wedding! This can be a stressful time and you'll have to make some last minute decisions and quickly!

I agree with the last post, don't let them control your special day. It is exactly that, YOUR special day! Worry about yourself for YOUR wedding and they should be elated that you have asked them to join in on this very solemn and personal occasion!

According to etiquette, guests are to arrange their own transportation and lodging at their own expense. Albeit, if it is an exception such as an elderly grandmother that you want to help out, and who needs your assistance, then just send for a taxi, if that's an option for you. Perhaps she has a nice neighbor who would love to help out, retirees are always looking for something to do. Otherwise, leave the GUESTS to their own accord (hahha).

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Fri, 06-20-2003 - 7:05pm
KEEP IN MIND, this is OYUR wedding. You and you S/O's big day. The only one who can ruin it is one of you two. So relax, let them do as they please and dont let it affect you. You're in this for the 2 of you and your new life together, not for them. Good Luck
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Thu, 06-26-2003 - 9:18am
Thanks for you input, and congrats to you on your big day. I have decided to let them be and do my thang if they come that's fine not their lose is my thought because my wedding will not happen again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2003
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 10:50am
Hello and congrats,

My daughter got married on June 21st, so I know what you're going through right now. This kind of life event can bring emotions to the forefront. I think that you should take a deep breath and try to determine if you're seeing things through the fog of those emotions. Once you calm down, you can make a list of all the solutions to the problems you are facing, and pick the best solution to your problem. List everything that comes to mind--even the ridiculous ideas. They can provide some needed laughter that will go a long way to easing the stress you feel.

Good luck and have fun.

Allison