My father wants to move in w/ my aunt!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2003
My father wants to move in w/ my aunt!
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 12:50pm
I would have never believed in a million years that I would ever had to deal with a situation like this. My father wants to move in with my aunt. This is extremely hard for my cousins and I to comprehend... my father and aunt have barely talked to each other since my parents got divorced, and my aunt's husband died. (My uncle was my blood-relative, my aunt is not.) Now my father is telling me that he is in love with my aunt. My relatives are sickened to think about the prospect of them being in a relationship with each other. We don't know what to do... they are adults, so we can't tell them who to date. But, I seriously don't think my father understands the implications of this. And, they want to live together to boot! This is making me sick, and I am embarrased to tell any of my friends about this. Also, I am getting married in a year, and I can't imagine having my father and my aunt together at the wedding. My mom would be devastated. I've already shared my feelings with my father, but he tells me that he doesn't care what I think or say. I don't know if it's his culture (he's a Portuguese immigrant) so he doesn't think it is a big deal. What should I do??? Please help!!
Avatar for leslie2353
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 3:20pm
O M G !

In my country, it might be a bit normal, because we didn't have divorces, everyone lives in the same house and people don't gossip, but in america where (am now) taboo of gays and lesbians coming out of the closet, became such a new 'fad' or should I say, anything goes. It's America! You're right they're both adult. I'm sure you'll get used to it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Fri, 12-05-2003 - 7:19pm
I am confused.

Who is blood related to who?

Was your mom the sister to your Aunt's husband or was your father the brother to your Aunt's husband?

Ejkdmom Come visit my store:
Avatar for cl_2and1more
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 12-06-2003 - 4:05pm

I'm sure it will be uncomfortable for a while but you will get used to it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sun, 12-07-2003 - 7:25pm
We had this sort of thing happen in my family. My Grandmother married her Brother in law. Her sister was dying of cancer and she went out to CA. to be with her. The sister passed and granny didn't come back. We started hearing how wonderful he was. Next thing we know she calls and says they are comming home to get married. Her sister had not been dead a month. His kids accepted it better than we did I think. We were all totally shocked and repulsed. He was family... After awhile you get used to it. But the first few things we had where allot of extended family were around were strange. But he made Granny happy. So we learned to live with it. So give it some time. It may all blow over. But it is your wedding. YOU do what makes you happy that day. On a side note. My ILs divorced and when my FIL remarried he married my cousin. It is hard to explain our family
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2002
Mon, 12-08-2003 - 2:05am

First of all, this is not such a big deal. They are not blood relatives, so why not? Since your aunt's husband died, then her ties to your family (other than children they may have had together) ceased to exist and she is free to marry whomever she chooses.

You don't say what religion your family is - are they Christian or Jewish? If so, then I believe it's even