My older sister...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2011
My older sister...
14
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 3:10pm

I am 22 and am extremely close with my 20 year old sister, Emily. My older sister, Jamie, is ten years older than I am, so I didn't grow up very close to her. In the past few years, however, we have been able to grow closer. It's great, but now she feels she has to be included in everything that Emily and I do, hang out with us, etc. Jamie is a mom of 4 and it's a very different life from ours, so as college students, Emily and I aren't always jumping to hang out with her. I feel bad but secretly I'm selfishly wanting to leave her out of certain things.

Emily and I are very close to our cousin Angela, and were planning on taking a trip to visit her this weekend. I was talking to Jamie about this and she wants to tag along. We're all so much younger than she is and it's just not the same when she's there...we can't be our weird, college-aged selves. What to do??

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 3:53pm

Honestly, if you didn't want to involve your older sister, you shouldn't have discussed it with her.

Perhaps she would enjoy hanging out with her sisters even if they act like their weird college aged selves.

I really wouldnt know what else to suggest.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2010
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 4:23pm

I have not no idea what to tell you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 5:25pm

If I had to chose a sister i would be the older one... lol

Take it from me. Just b/c a woman grows older doesn't mean she can't be fun.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2011
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 7:42pm
My younger sister and I normally take overnight trips to my cousins house to spend the night, as we have done since we were little. I mentioned it as in..."Emily and I might go to Angela's this weekend." She has never come with us before, it's not like an extravagant weekend getaway girls weekend. Plus she has 4 kids under the age of 7 so I wasn't expecting her to invite herself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2011
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 7:44pm
Why can't I mention that I'm going somewhere without being afraid to hurt her feelings? Should I avoid telling her the next time I go to the movies in case she wants to come?

And just because it would be polite to have her there doesn't mean I want to invite her every time I do something fun.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 8:18pm

Granted, I wouldnt necessarily invite myself if my sisters mentioned a trip like that.

But from the perspective of a Mother with 4 very young kids (which I am).

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 12:27pm

You're not going to understand this - because understanding of what it feels like to be a 30-something mom can only come with being a 30-something mom, however, I can tell you, in a lot of ways, you don't feel much different than you do when you're 22, and you certainly don't feel like a stodgy old lady who's incapable of having fun.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2011
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 7:44pm
I think I made a mistake by posting this because you have to know my family to understand. I doubt you, my sister, or any other 30-something mom would find it entertaining to follow random people around the mall, or ride bikes around walmart, or prank call high school boys, which are just examples of weird things that we do. So yeah, sometimes it's nice to be able to do those things with people your age who "get it" because you grew up together doing it. I'm not expecting to do those things when I'm a mother of 4.

"As for your comment about "Should I avoid telling her the next time I go to the movies in case she wants to come?", I hope you realize that there's a difference between routine daily activity and a planned trip that involves several members of your (and her) family."

There's not much of a difference. This isn't an elaborate trip, it's a sleepover, and it involves 3 people.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2011
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 7:45pm
So when my sister asks me what I'm doing this weekend I need to make up a quick lie?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 7:56pm

No, you dont have to lie.

Photobucket

Pages