My sister despises me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2011
My sister despises me!
7
Mon, 10-17-2011 - 7:05pm

She is 18mo older than I and has a 13yo girl and 7yo boy.

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Mon, 10-17-2011 - 8:19pm

Hi,

Your sister is acting like the spoiled brat here. My, my is jealousy ever the green-eyed monster! I think you correctly identified the source of the problem: her kids no longer have the spotlight and she's displaying her jelousy and immaturity by acting like a high school girl who didn't get asked to the prom.

A couple of things:
1)You were absolutely correct to pull your daughter out of her daycare for valid reasons. I would not leave my less-than-2-year-old child with a teenager for all the tea in China. Your sister is opening herself up for massive liability by putting a kid in charge of kids. (And don't think for one moment if something happened to the children in her care that the parents of said children wouldn't sue her out of existence if anything happened to their kids!)

2)Your sister is accusing you of the things she is doing: favoring her children, finding fault with yours, accusing you of attending family events for someone other than the guest of honor. These are all things SHE has done. It's typical behavior for a manipulator.

My advice? Stay in touch with your parents. Attend family events whether or not your sister is invited or whether she's trying to control others by saying things like, "If you invite my sister, I'm not coming." In those cases the best thing the inviter can say is, "We'll miss you then because we've invited your sister." Let her choices be her consequences, not yours.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Mon, 10-17-2011 - 8:20pm

Has your sister always been jealous of you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2011
Mon, 10-17-2011 - 9:58pm

Thank you for your response.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Tue, 10-18-2011 - 3:58pm

Your sister is acting like a jealous sibing...go figure...lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2011
Wed, 10-19-2011 - 5:23pm
You know, I would give it time- but that is what I did after the whole daycare incident- even after her calling me a failure as a mother. I thought I'd never be able to forgive her. I did- in a way but kept my guard up and was nice to her, went to her kids games, even went to this house of her boyfriends that he bought. But that wasn't good enough and now that I don't tell my DD NO all the freaking time, I am a bad parent. So- 1st time shame on her, 2nd time shame on me. I am not sure this will ever blow over. She has been pretty jealous of me for years, and that is never my intention. I think she is miserable therefore she wants others to be miserable as well. I have talked a bit to my mom about it, and they agree she is jealous and this may/may not ever go away, but I don't talk to my dad about it. I will be nice and mature shall the family be together and I will treat my DD the same when she is around to- not to appease her "NO NO NO" advise!!!
Thank you for responding :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Thu, 10-20-2011 - 4:42pm

I'm glad you are able to see this is your sister's problem, not yours.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2011
Tue, 10-25-2011 - 10:12pm
Thank you!!! I have come to terms her and I will never get along and she will always begrudgingly hate me. But her loss- I just miss her kiddos :( I will rise above and continue to be the best mom to my dd!! I to do believe she puts me down to make her own self feel superior. Oh well... thanks again :) :)