Is my sister selfish or what?

Avatar for chicle
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2003
Is my sister selfish or what?
4
Thu, 06-12-2003 - 3:09pm
I have a sister who is divorced, no kids and she lives on her own, she is dating a guy who is also divorced but he has 3 kids from his previous marriage. This Sunday is Father’s Day. That same day is my dad’s birthday. For that day we plan to go out to lunch to a restaurant. It is not that I’m against it, but my sister will invite her boyfriend to the lunch. I mean her boyfriend has joined us in twice before in other different occasions when we all go out to have lunch somewhere, although he never invites the family when he and my sister go out any Sunday anywhere, my sister is the one who always invite him when we go out, I believe that because it is Father’s day my sister should not oblige her boyfriend to join us that day, because her boyfriend also has a dad and at the same time he is a dad, so that day his kids or his parents might want him to spend the day with them and her boyfriend gets along well with his parents and they are very close to each other. I mean my sister has her parents and her boyfriend also has his parents and his kids so I believe my sister should let her boyfriend spend the day with his family instead of spending it with us, it is not fair but my sister insists on inviting him to join us.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-12-2003 - 5:07pm
Being her boyfriend I think the opposite is true. Yes it would be selfish if she insisted he joined your family instead of his kids or parents, but if she only invites him and lets him make the decision as to rather attend or not then I think she is only being polite.If he wants to spend time with his parents or kids I'm sure he will let her know.Either way I think it's one you shouldn't be to concerned with other then having to share the family day with someone it doesn't sound like you like very well.
Avatar for cl_2and1more
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 06-12-2003 - 6:21pm
Well, I'm sure selfish is a really good word to describe this but I understand how you feel. Maybe you just need to tell your sister that you feel it should be a day for just the family. Or maybe ask your dad if it will bother him to have her boyfriend there. If it does, offer to talk to her about it and if it doesn't, then leave it alone.

Although you may not feel like he is part of the family, I'm sure your sister wants to include him in every part of her life. So I see why she would invite him to family things. Because this is your dad's day, I'd let him make the call.

Make it a special day for your dad either way,

Melissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Fri, 06-13-2003 - 12:09am
I think I understand what you mean about him not spending the day with his own dad or kids, but maybe I am missing a piece of the bigger picture here because I really don't understand why it bugs you so much if he is there? Does he cause conflict? Or does he take away from the time the rest of you get to talk to your sis? Just not sure I understand so I thought I'd ask.
Avatar for chicle
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2003
Fri, 06-13-2003 - 2:01am
He does not cause any kind of conflict to anyone. My dad and mom already knows him, he is not such a stranger anymore. I just thought that since he has his own dad and kids it will be unfair for his kids or his parents, that his son/ and dad will spend Father's day with us instead of them. Dont worry, my sister told me, his bf will spend the day with his family, like he does every year (I did not know). My sister and him has been dating 6 months now that is why for us it will be the first time it happens and I thought she will invite him.