Need advice for coping with a stepdad with anger and attitude issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2011
Need advice for coping with a stepdad with anger and attitude issues
6
Mon, 07-25-2011 - 1:29pm

Hi there. I need some advice in regards to coping with a stepdad with anger and attitude issues. My stepdad (he's in his 70's) frequently seems to be in a foul mood about who knows what. He's constantly yelling at the top of his lungs about relatively minor things not worth bellowing at the top of his lungs about, and can be quite snarly and rude to those around him, even the young children in this family (for example, if my 5 year old foster nephew asks him a question, and if dad percieves the question as a stupid one, he'll respond with snarky, rude comments and says things like "don't ask

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2011

You are right and it sounds as though you don't have much choice but to have to visit them both often for your mother's and sister's children's sake.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2011

Unfortunately, verbal abuse is not taken as seriously as physical abuse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007

We can only go by what a person post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2005

First of all, I'm not the one leaving kids with him: its other family members that do that (I don't have any kids of my own), and he's only asked to help out when theres no one else that can. And its not like he's some inhuman monster who doesn't have any good qualities (he has lots of good qualities), he just has some serious attitude issues. And as for the "who cares" comment, I care. In my present situation, I am over at the family home caring for not only my sister's three foster kids, but a sick mom as well (who having major gallbladder and pancreas problems, and was recently hospitalized). And these kids have morning daycare (which I can't drive them to as I neither have a car or a liscence, and can't drive due to health issues), so he's needed to drive them to and from daycare).

Avatar for lizmvr
Community Leader
Registered: 06-06-2001

"when he's asked to help out with chores or babysitting, he complains loudly about it, and if its babysitting, he takes his frustrations about being asked to babysit out on the kids. I honestly don't understand my dad and his frequent foul moods and anger issues, his laziness or his need to be snarly and rude to everyone. Even when I was a kid he was like this (I'm 39 now), and he was in my kid sister's face so much back then that he often reduced her to tears (which is also what often happens to the kids in this family nowadays: he gets in THEIR faces about minor things, even stuff like behaving like normal kids, and reduces THEM to tears). Any theories about why he acts this way? He wasn't abused as a child, so its not that. Also, what can I do to cope with his behavior? I have generalized anxiety disorder, and the above described behavior from my dad is one of my anxiety triggers. Any advice as to why he acts this way and how to cope with it would be greatly appreciated, thanks."

If he's always been like this, it's not likely that medication or dementia is now causing it.

Liz


Clinical Research Associate


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007

I hate to ask the obvious, but why would anyone leave their children with him if he's mean to them?