Need to get rid of stepmom

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Need to get rid of stepmom
3
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 8:37am
My father remarried this strange lady from malaysia, she moved in took over the whole house, somehow made my dad turn against me. through out my mothers things. she tells my dad how to raise me, and that i treat him like crap and I use him for his car, so i never get to drive the car. She stomps around the house miserable and my dad blames it all on me, that i was mean to her so now i have to pay. He thinks shes perfect and doesnt do anything wrong, she moved in here and put locks on all the doors, she hides food in her bedroom, she calls my dad up at work and tells him what i am doing. She never talks to me, but she tells my dad not to let me do anything, not to have the car not to lend me money. my dad buys the groceries and they eat horrible food now, because she likes weird food, so they never get me anything. i can never talk to my dad because she gets jealous, they had a son together and she enver lets her son come near me, she gets mad at him when he crawls near me. She locks her bedroom door all the time, she wont come in a room when im in it. i cant take it anymore, im not racist but malaysian people to me are weird, she brought her family here and they were the same way, sneaky and said i was a horrible child. Kids are raised different here in canada then over there. so i got in a fight last night with my dad, and he says im pathetic, im jealous of her, and its all my fault that she is unhappy, because she is such a nice person, and he doesnt want me living here anymore because i cant get along with her. its all my fault, i try and talk to her she just ignores me and stomps into her room. She is very self centered.my relationship with my father is gone completeyl, we can never talk talk to spend time together because she wont let me,she tells him what to do with me, i ask for the car, but she feels that i dont need to use it, because i am using my dad just for his car. She writes her name on everything in the house including food. I cant go in the living room, because theyve got the baby who is a year old sleeping in it in a play pen, because she doesnt want the baby sleeping downstairs in his room. I dont know what to do anymore, my dads is psuhing away from me and the whole family because of her. She moved in here and caused havoc, now she wants him to move away from this town because she cant find a job here and she wants me out. What do i do? I tried telling my dad that i want attention from him, i want him to talk to me, i want a relationship with him, and he just says that i am a baby hes married now and has to give her the attention. I wish she never came over here, things would be so much better. thered be no locks on doors, we would have real food in the house, and my dad and i would be friends still. instead he gets mad at me when i try and tell him that his wifes not perfect. Shes got everything she wants my dadf takes her shopping bought her a car.He blames it all on me. someone help me.
Avatar for cl_2and1more
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 8:52am
Oh honey, I'm so sorry for all these bad feelings that you have. No one should feel that they are being pushed to the back burner by their dad. But your dad is married and his focus has changed. You did not mention your age although I see that you are old enough to drive. Can you move out? Maybe with your mom if that is possible (you didn't mention her, so I'm just guessing) maybe even an aunt or a grandma would be willing to let you stay with them until you finish school. But you should start thinking about your future. Get a job and save money. Be ready to take care of yourself. You have seen how your dad has changed. I don't think you count on him to help support you.

I wish you the best of luck and remember that what doesn't break you will make you a better person.

Melissa


Edited 4/17/2003 8:54:18 AM ET by cl-2and1more

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 8:54am
my moms going through a nasty divorce and i am in the middle of finding a job. my family all lives 2 hours or more away, im pretty much stuck here. I wish i could make him realize how wrong she is, and what shes done to this family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-17-2003 - 10:47am
I know you wish you could make him understand your feelings, but unfortunately you can't make him, he has to realize this on his own. You also need to be prepared that he may never come to realize this or it may take him a long time to. Just keep doing what you're doing, are you going to college? Maybe get a grant or loan and move to a campus at a university and make your own life. I know it's hard but it will get better. Can you move to where your other family is and go to school there?

 baby