New to the board with a big problem...
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|Sun, 05-11-2003 - 1:01pm|
Ok I have been with my current boyfriend for over 2 months now and my family loves him, parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents...they've all met him and love him. In the past I've dated some,lets just say, not-so-great guys that my parents weren't really too fond of. But this guy is totally different. Anyway getting to what happened last night, oh and I guess before I get into it I should tell you that I'm 18, almost 19 (I'm sure my age comes into the problem) but anyway I'm trying to find a way for my mom to CUT the cord and let me be able to grow up. My boyfriend was asked by his grandparents to stay the weekend at there house while they went away because they have an old dog that they didn't want to leave alone. Before they left they told me that I could stay the night there too with my boyfriend to keep him company. When I ran the idea past my mom last night she FLIPED! Telling me no NEVER will I be able to stay over at a guys house while I'm living at home and that I shouldn't even be thinking about doing anything like that until i'm at least in my mid 20s!!! Why does she think like that?! And all she kept saying when I would ask her why she didnt' want me to would be "because i said so" which i really do NOT think is a good answer...then she told me that if i did stay over there people would start to see me as a "slut that is sleeping around with everyone" That was the last straw...I blew up at her (and seeing it was the day before mothers day i'm sure wasn't the best timing) and I told her i was responsible enough to make my own decisions and that I am not stupid, I know what I am doing. But still it didn't help.
I think her main problem is she grew up in a VERY strict house where sex before marriage or even hanging out with a guy where no adults were around was a big no no. But in a fit of rage last night I told her that what I do in my life is my own business and I don't think my parents should have to know what I do all the time. I just don't agree with how she was raised (she was a teen in the 70s) and I want her to come into how I'm thinking and know that I am responible. The big thing is tho, she doesn't know that I haven't waited until I'm married to have sex. I first had sex last year with a guy she didn't like and if she knew she would freak. And ya me and my current boyfriend have sex BUT we use protection and we have talked about what we will do if something happens and I get pregnant. I just need ya'lls help in how to get my mom to understand that I'M GROWING UP!!! I've always been a good kid to my parents, good grades in school, currently in college, never been in trouble with the law, don't do drugs...I'm sure this is something everyone has to go through when they hit 18...So to finish the story of last night...by the end of the argument she said that she understood where i was coming from but that I should talk to my dad about it (he was at work during the arguement) But in the end I talked to my boyfriend about it and he said there is no use me getting my parents mad over this and fighting and he said it would be best thing just to give them a guilt trip(lol), but not stay the night. And now today, I am talking to my mom and shes trying to be all nice to me now, asking me if i want her to make me breakfest, if i want to go out shopping with her today...almost seems like shes trying to butter me up from the agrument last night.
Sorry for this being so long!! just REALLY needed to vent and I need anyones help as to how to get my mom to see me as I see myself-a responible adult.