Parents new families - divorce
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|Fri, 06-13-2003 - 9:12am|
When they first divorced, they paid extra special attention to us 3 girls, making sure we knew that the divorce wasn't our fault. However, this attention abruptly stopped when they both found new families.
FATHER: My father got remarried about 10 years ago. The woman he married had 4 children, all of which had either mental health or physical disabilities. Only 1 was still living at home when he moved in. Due to these problems, it seems there's always a crisis with one child or another, which he has to devote his time to. I have not talked to my father on the phone in almost 2 years, and I haven't seen him for over a year and a half, although he lives 20 minutes away. I've tried phoning or scheduling visits, but these always fall through because of these repeated family crises that keep coming up. One Christmas Eve I had planned a visit with him (along with his wife and my 2 sisters), cooked a ton of a food and bought gifts. He called 1/2 an hour after he was supposed to arrive stating that something came up and he wouldn't be able to make it.
MOTHER: My mother met a man about 10 years ago and had him move in. They never have and never will get married, so she says. Prior to meeting this man, she would babysit on occasion and even offered to, just to see her grandchildren. However, once she started dating this man, this abruptly stopped. She instructed me to find a good teenager in my neighborhood because "she had a life too". She has only agreed to babysit 2 times in the past 4 years and those times were only because of medical emergencies. She used to call me everyday, but now it's only 2-3 times a week, and only if she isn't busy with her boyfriend. She also used to visit me at least 2 times a month, but now it's down to 1-2 times a year, and only on VERY VERY special occasions, not holidays. I've tried calling her more often and visiting her, but she always has previous plans with her boyfriend and has to cut them short.
I feel so alone in life and, honestly, I feel like my parents have already died. I have relatively no relationship with them at all. I've tried on numerous occasions to establish some sort of relationship, only to be shot down so many times. If there is anyone else at this website who feels the same way, please tell me how you've adjusted and coped. Thanks!