Pay or not to pay?
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Pay or not to pay?
| Tue, 05-31-2011 - 9:31pm |
This is a long story, but will try to make it short! I have not had a relationship with my mother for many years due to sexual abuse caused by my father and her failure to acknowledge. Fast forward she is in her 70's but in good health, physically. Her sister keeps calling our home asking me to pay for my mother's end of life expenses. Last year I told her we didn't have that kind of money and now the phone calls have started once again. I have tried to ignore her, but she will get one of my children on the phone and start talking to them.
We still cannot afford that kind of expense. I am in the process of looking for a full time job as it is and the taxes on our home are coming due at the end of the month. We are stresses financially.
I haven't spoken to my mother in years. The last time we went and picked her up 1200 miles away and brought her to our home for a visit. My mother has always had a mean streak, but she argued with my dh the entire time and before we drove her back, in front of my children she called me a b$&@&h and a s&&t because I remarried. It was horrifying but not surprising.
Has anyone ever been in this situation? I don't know how to make this lady understand we cannot give her any money!
We still cannot afford that kind of expense. I am in the process of looking for a full time job as it is and the taxes on our home are coming due at the end of the month. We are stresses financially.
I haven't spoken to my mother in years. The last time we went and picked her up 1200 miles away and brought her to our home for a visit. My mother has always had a mean streak, but she argued with my dh the entire time and before we drove her back, in front of my children she called me a b$&@&h and a s&&t because I remarried. It was horrifying but not surprising.
Has anyone ever been in this situation? I don't know how to make this lady understand we cannot give her any money!
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Your Mom's final costs should be covered by social security. Albeit, it is minimal, that money is available to her.
Social Security only pays $255.00 for death benifits.
Ai-yi-yi!!! How many times do you have to tell this lady before she gets it?! You can't do it & no amount of pressuring from family is going to make the money magically appear in your account!! I'm sorry she's not listening.... Good luck!!!!!
Your subject line poses the question "Pay or not pay?"
Don't pay.
Thanks for listening!
I think writing her a short note is a fine idea. Just a lil something to explain that now is not a good time...I wouldn't give details or anything but just spell it out so that she gets the hint...while you'd love to be in a position to help mom out, that's just not possible.
GOOD LUCK!!! Keep us posted....let us know what happens after your letter!
So if you had the money, you'd pay it? On top of everything else, you'd pay it without your mother even asking for it? But through a third person? How manipulative she must be. Because don't you think she's behind your aunt's calls? Don't you think it odd that she's in good physical health but yet wants death money? I don't buy it.
You don't owe her anything. You haven't had a relationship in years. And for good reason.
She made her bed, she can lie in it.
Edited for typo.
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