to pay or not to pay

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2003
to pay or not to pay
Sat, 09-27-2003 - 9:15am
i currently live with my mother and her husband...i was unfortunate enough to have been put out of my home...not of any fault of my own but the mother and husband opened their home to me which i appreciate but wish i didn't have to go there...anyway...i don't and won't receive a key to the home or know the security code or anything like that...and my mother wants me to pay her my understanding is that the key comes with the rent...i was living with my father and didn't pay rent and still have his house key, same thing with my sister who has five small mother says having a key has nothing to do with paying rent and that i don't buy food, etc... i don't think i should have to pay rent when i don't have a key and i told her this, she thinks my thoughts are the results of someone else influence, regardless of the fact that i think this on my own, several other people agree with me...should i pay her or not?
Avatar for cl_2and1more
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 09-27-2003 - 9:55am

her house = her rules

I know that it is a pain but it is the truth.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Sat, 09-27-2003 - 9:55am
First of all, I can't fathom the fact that you don't already have a key to your mom's house. I mean, in case of emergency or somthing?

Anyway, if you are paying rent, then you deserve the key.

But, if you have to pay rent...MOVE OUT. I can not see how this is a good situation at all. Living with your mom for a short amount of time to get back on your feet is one thing, but if you can afford to pay rent, then you need to get out of there.

Ejkdmom Come visit my store:
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2002
Sat, 09-27-2003 - 8:12pm
Key or no key, your own mother or not, doesn't matter... if you take up space in their home and use their utilities, then you should pay your fair share. They call that RENT.

I don't understand why they won't let you have a key or know the security code, unless they're plain psycho or there's a history of mistrust with them that you're not telling us. You should have a key, and you should know the code, even if you're only going to live there a short time.

My advice: pay rent, and get a place of your own ASAP.



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2002
Mon, 09-29-2003 - 2:24pm
While your Mom and her DH have every right to ask you to pay rent while staying there, they cannot have their cake and eat it too. If you are paying rent, you should get a key.
Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-29-2003 - 6:17pm
If you lived in an apartment, you would have to pay rent so that is reasonable. This key issue sounds weird though. Has she said why she doesn't want you to have a key?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2003
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 9:52pm
I also say since it is her house then, it is her rules. I had to stay with my mother for about four months last year and it was crazy. First, she said just save your money and look for a job and I was doing that. Then, she got so irresponsible since I was living with her that she did not pay the bills on time and told me I needed to help with the rent and the other bills. I said no problem but, you need to be more responsible when it comes to paying your bills because I will not be living with you past six months. She got all mad at me an took my key away so I moved out the next month and currently live with my boyfriend. So I see where your coming from when you say she does not want you to have a key but, she wants you to pay rent. If you feel it is unfair then just move out. It will be best for your sake.
Avatar for leslie2353
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 10-07-2003 - 10:13pm
Did your father has a girlfriend that he lives with? I wouldn't go live with your mom, I can tell there's gonna be strings attached. Already, they don't make you feel welcome. I would live elsewhere. That's an insult, since she invited you. You can help instead of rent by doing chores, and fix dinner, but it's really up to you what you want to do.