Physical fight with sibling

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Physical fight with sibling
Sun, 07-13-2003 - 12:40am
My sibling and I are in our thirties. You would think that we would have passed that stage of childhood fighting but it's still there. This time I didn't care. I'm tired of the excuses.

My father is sick and every other week and every couple of months, he needs one of his children to accompany him to the doctor because he does not speak very well English and with all the medication he's taken, he barely understands what the doctors are telling him.

Here's the thing, I just started a new job in February. I spoke to my boss and told him that I have a sick father and every now and then I have to accompany him to the doctor. He's such a sweetheart and understands these situations. On the other hand, I'm embarrassed to even tell him (and this is all the time) oh by the way, next Monday, I'm not coming in, blah, blah, blah. I have two siblings. One of them lives far away and he's too preoccupied with his family. My other sibling doesn't live that far and when I ask her if she can take him, she's like well let me check with my job, etc. (she's been there for over 5 years) or no I can't because of blah, blah blah. Now I understand that she also has a family. I, on the other hand, am single, no children, no husband, nothing. So, of course, it's easy for me to make the sacrifice and do everything for my parents.

Now, I asked her if she can take him because she was taking that week off. She told me no I'll be in Philadelphia. That really pissed me off. She got really mad that I got upset with her and we started to physically fight. We fought in my parents house. My father was there and he got upset. I know that I should not have done that and I feel really hurt that I made him feel bad because he was saying we were fighting because of him, because of his sickness. I tried to explain to him that why do I have to always make the sacrifice and she doesn't. It's like oh well. That S&*t really pissed me off.

I want nothing to do with her. She is a selfish bitch. I'm tired of being understanding and reasonable. Before I used to say ok well let me see what I can do, etc. Now, I don't feel like it.

I'm sorry this is so long. I'm just tired of this. I don't feel bad about the fight I had with her. I feel bad that I hurt my father. I tried to explain to him that I started this new job and that his kids have to try and do their part. But they don't. He always takes my sister's side and how it's my fault. I don't think he sees how much I do for him and he doesn't even appreciate it. That really hurts.

Sorry so long. I will not apologize to her. This appointment is very important to reschedule. Thanx.

Avatar for cl_starrzz_n_moonzz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-13-2003 - 11:21am
I know that sometimes I too would love to just hit my sister over the head, but I try to hold my tongue and temper as much as I can when she upsets me. This situation seems to be a very tricky one. I can understand your part with the new job and all, but do I think you are I feel that in order to be fair everyone should pitch in the most they can. Sometimes I look at my sister about not wanting to do things with our parents and grandmother and it angers me, but I feel that in the end she will have her own guilt for not wanting to help out and go visit. Is there any way you and your sister could make a kind of schedule. You take your dad to his appts. certain weeks and she does the others? That way you all know when your turn is and maybe relieve some tension? Also you could always have some heads up to tellyour boss? Also is their any type of service in your community that helps with transportation and such? Maybe that would be an option? I would also try to make my father understand that what happened between you and your sister had absolutely nothing to do with him. Just try to reassure him of this and hopefully he will not feel as he is to blame. Until then~~~~Michelle