QOTW...What is the biggest.....
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| Wed, 04-02-2003 - 8:13am |
As for me the biggest guilt trip my family has ever given me(not including DH little guilt trips to get his way LOL) is my family trying to get us to come home to visit them. Always, always when DH gets leave they say when are you coming down? They don't ask oh what are you all doing for you vacation this year it is when are you coming to see us? They make me feel bad by saying we never get to see our grandson and such and such. Or they need our help with something so we are supposed to give up our time to go see them, but then they call and say oh we are all going to the Lake, beach or amusement park for our vacation. This is always after we have taken our time and went to see them. Well this past time they went on and on about us coming for a week well we said NO and they went into the pity stories. On how oh we wanted to see you all but if you want to stay we understand. It sure did feel good to tell them NO.
So how about you and your families guilt trips they give you? I hope you all have a great week. We are heading out to enjoy this gorgeous day as soon as I can get myself motivated to get ready!! Have a good one ~~~~Michelle
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My father died on Christmas Eve this winter, in my sister's home. It's a long story, but the short version is that my sister and I rescued him from an abusive marriage (his choice to leave his wife of 36 yrs) and did our best to protect him from further abuse. Over the next six months, we watched his health plummet and watched him give up on life. In preparation, we helped him fill out a funeral planner, in which he stated he wanted to be cremated and ashes buried at a military cemetery.
Anyway, when the time came for funeral arrangements, his estranged wife attempted legal action to stop the cremation - she was extremely upset and insisted he had always wanted to be buried in the family plot. She begged us to reconsider. The question arose: Go forward with cremation plans and risk her taking legal action that would stop all funeral arrangements and leave his body to *rot* while the attorneys duked it out, or find a compromise so the funeral could go forward peacefully and my father's body laid to rest???
My brothers and sister laid the hugest guilt trip on me - they wanted to go ahead, no matter what the risk or cost, to grant our father his dying wishes. I wanted a compromise to ease my father's wife's pain and prevent a legal charade through court over a dead man's body, which I believed my father would not want. I had even managed to get my step-mother to agree to pay for the funeral and burial.
Anyway, my step-mother had a very crafty attorney who managed to convince her that my siblings and I had every legal right to cremate his body (we didn't) and there was nothing she could do to stop us (she could have stopped everything with one word). at 4:30 pm on the day before the funeral, she relented and her attorney promised not to pursue legal action. My father's body was cremated according to his wishes.
My siblings still have not forgiven me for this almost "betrayal" - they accuse me of being weak. It still hurts. And I miss my Dad.
Msfit
                 &nbs
Blessing to you,
Melissa
With my first marriage, I didn't have a wedding because my Mom couldn't be there(long story) so, because she couldn't be there, no one else could enjoy the day. At one point, she asked me to choose between my X (then H) and her. During my entire first marriage, she was afraid that my MIL would replace her, so, I didn't even try to get close to my MIL. When I began seeing DH, Mom demanded to know if we were having sex. She had a right to know because she told me everything whether I wanted to hear it or not. When it became clear that the guilt thing didn't work on me anymore, she began to use it on my kids. Mom constantly tries to make my kids feel guilty that they are more fond of my Dad than of her. When we go see DH's family, Mom makes sure that she lets the kids know that SHE is their grandma.
These are just a few of the highlights.
take care everyone
Amanda