QOTW.....When your family or in laws....

Avatar for cl_starrzz_n_moonzz
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
QOTW.....When your family or in laws....
Tue, 07-22-2003 - 7:58pm
come to visit how much free rein in your home do you give them? Do you give up your bed, let them go through your fridge, or do you rent them the closest hotel room you can get?

I ask this because last week my parents were here and of course they feel they have free rein here too. They expect us to give up our bed and cater to them and what they want. Of course we usually do because we do not want to hurt their feelings but sometimes it feels like they could sit us out our back door and lock us out LOL. We lucked out though because our air was stillout so they had to stay in the hospitality suite so they had their own little apartment and only came out of the cool to my steam bath to eat. It was a pleasant trip really. I know I make it sound worse than it usually is all I can say is though I am glad that they only ever stay a few days no more than five. I can say the same about my in laws too only a few short days( a weekend) and then they are gone.

So how do your family members act when they come to stay? Do they overstay and wear out their welcome or is it short and sweet? GIve up your bed or hotel room all the way?

I hope you all are having a great week. It is a little chilly here so we are enjoying the nice weather. Tomorrow I may be MIA because tomorrow is me and my DH six year anniversary. Boy time really does fly by. One minute it was like we just met and the other minute is like we have been together for decades. Keep up the great posting and take care. Until Thursday~~~~~~Michelle

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Registered: 03-30-2003
Tue, 07-22-2003 - 10:50pm
I have never, and would never, give up my bed. The ONLY situation I could think of to give up my bed would be if my mom, who is still recovering from cancer, came to visit and I had no other place for her to sleep (or any other sick relative). But she won't travel while she is recouperating so that is not an issue.

I am building a new home and are spending a beu-coup amount of money to build a guest suite on the first floor. So guest will be as far away from me as possible but still be in the house! LOL

There have been times that I didn't want anyone staying with me so I offered to pay for hotel rooms. I have had people NOT come to visit because I wouldn't let them stay with me. Tough.

Ejkdmom Come visit my store: www.leorra.com
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Registered: 06-02-2003
Tue, 07-22-2003 - 11:15pm
Happy Anniversary Michelle!!! I hope u guys have a great time together celebrating :-)

I am only 18 and I'm a student, so I live with my mom, stepdad & stepsister still...but in our house we RARELY have guests stay from out of town. Most of our family on both sides is really close by enough to drive home at night (like an hour or 2 at the most from us). I do have 1 aunt who lives in MI (we live in MO) and she comes down about 2 times a yr and we give her full rein and our guest room and she is very cool tho and never takes advantage or makes a mess. My mom is not big on having guests. My stepdad has family who lives pretty far and when they come to stay an invitation is never offered partly because they have 3 very uncontrolled young kids and my mom can't stand them whining and making a mess. Once I think the parents hinted about staying and my mom was like "we don't have much room at our place" which is not true really but I'm secretly glad she said that :-) Rhiannon

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 07-23-2003 - 7:27am
I suppose it depends on who the relative is. It its my mom sure id give her my bed but she would probably insist on staying at a hotel. When i visit her she gives me free reign, says i know where everything is so i can get it for myself and DH. I hate doing it though. I think it has to do with I lived in her house, she didnt live in my so she feels its not her place to rummage through the kitchen or drawers of my bedroom but since i lived with her and in that house i have the right to. It makes sense then it doenst.

I guess im one who believes that if I dont see the relative a lot i am not going to go digging through their things or help myself to the fridge. I assume i am a guest and if they offer me something that is fine. If im staying for a week or so and the host says its ok then ill get myself a drink or whatever. I dont expect to be waited on BUT they should give either verbal permission that i am allowed to get it myself so i dont run them ragged. I expect the same of guests in my house who i am either friends with or related to but not overly close.

Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-23-2003 - 1:18pm
We don't have a lot of overnight company because we have a small place, but occasionally we have someone stay over. We don't have a guest room, so they get the futon in the livingroom. In a month we will be moving into a bigger place and have a guest room with a regular bed in it, so guests can stay in there. I am actually looking forward to that because I like having company.

When people are over, they have free reign in the kitchen. In fact, I am not much of a waiter, so I prefer it if people feel comfortable enough to go into the fridge themselves. We have never had any company that overstayed their welcome or that made a mess of the place. If we did, you can bet that would be the last time they visited - LOL.

Avatar for cl_2and1more
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 07-24-2003 - 6:04pm
Hope you had a great anniversary celebration, Michelle.

We do not have family over because all of them live around here. But if I pretend and think about it. My kids would give up there rooms or we might give up the master suite because I love to have people in my room. It has a bed and a huge bathtub and a seperate shower and toliet area. There is a sitting room through the closet. So if we had guests that were staying, they could stay in our room and have everything they needed and have privacy. We also have an apartment on our house. At this time DH's grandparents live in it.

As far as free range - everyone has it. Visit an hour, a day, or a week and you would be expected to make yourself at home. I like to have things set out for company but if you come over often, you'll learn where the glasses are and that the water is through the door of the frig and we always have milk, ice tea and juice in the fridge. If you want pop check in the garage because I refuse to have it cold and ready (I would drink too much of it). Your kids would learn in an instant that I have a snack cubboard. They need premission to get into it, from you or me, doesn't matter which. Kids keep food in the kitchen unless it is movie night upstairs, adults are alllowed to wonder the house with food. Don't worry if you don't know the rules - I'll tell you and your kids.

So family or friend - come on over and make yourself at home. Although I am glad that it isn't a big issue with family.


Avatar for leslie2353
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 07-25-2003 - 12:02am
Since, all of DH's relatives lives in town, when they come visit, they leave right away.

My relatives, also lives in town. I used to have my neices at my house when holidays for overnighters/weekends but that was ages ago. They hardly call me, unless they're birthdays come along. But, I've had it with them inconsiderate 'adults'. If they ignore my birthday, I'll try to ignore theirs. Except the oldest, she and I became closer. She and her mom aren't. So, we're friends. When I turned 50, she was around to help me celeb. The youngest, hers is next week, she's trying to make appointments w/me to take her to lunch or dinner and shopping. But, THEY'RE GOING OUT OF TOWN. I'm jumping as high as heaven. She mentioned to me on the phone, about 5 times. I didn't say nothing, not even to wish her happy birthday. I end the conversation: have fun during your trip.

When I did that last year, bought her a jacket, she pawned it, and then got caught shoplifting, she was smoking pot and skipping school. Very dissappointed!

Hey, I was a rebel in high school, but I behaved well!

Relatives in the past, stayed with us, or with my parents' house.