Question about Wedding gift info.....

Avatar for cowboys_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2010
Question about Wedding gift info.....
9
Tue, 01-24-2012 - 9:32pm

posed another way?

Okay, okay.....I got my last thread, with the 'gift information inserts' were tacky......so, it just wasn't done.

And, honestly, if one reads the whole thread, you'll see my 'dilemma' about this wedding....so it's not really about getting gifts, it's about not have 'any' control over "our wedding".

But, besides my dilemma.....since all the cards are addressed to RSVP back to CA, my sister said, people are not going to know to send gifts to Texas, unless I inform them.....so I won't suggest bringing gift cards, instead of gifts, since we can't take them home to Texas.

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Tue, 01-24-2012 - 10:02pm
No matter how you write the question ultimately the decision lies in you. Do what YOU need to do!

This has been asked and answered.

San
Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Tue, 01-24-2012 - 10:08pm

I still think that to say anything like that can sound weird and people might misconstrue it as a reminder to give you a gift, or something. Your closest friends might take it the way you hope, but then they already know where you live...

Maybe you could send an email that doesn't mention gifts anywhere, but says something like "somebody pointed out to us that the invitations do not have our home address in TX so we wanted to provide that for those who want it". (Hopefully the other members here will say whether even that sounds bad)

As far as a control issue, that's with MIL and SIL and the guests shouldn't get pulled into that. Anyway you cannot control what 100 people are going to do. Even if you sent such an email or somehow get the word to people, some of them may just do what they want regardless of what's most convenient for you. So you might still have the problem of gifts at the wedding or in CA.

I responded to the other post suggesting that you ask the "party planners" how they intend for any gifts to get to Texas. If it becomes their problem to pack, ship, and pay shipping then they have more incentive to somehow let people know that gifts should be sent to TX. However there's a good chance they'll say that its not their problem, and then its back on you. In that case you may have to just deal with either shipping stuff or getting rid of it...which would be a shame but if you don't have the $ to ship stuff what can you do.

Avatar for cowboys_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2010
Tue, 01-24-2012 - 10:16pm

>>Maybe you could send an email that doesn't mention gifts anywhere, but says something like "somebody pointed out to us that the invitations do not have our home address in TX so we wanted to provide that for those who want it"<<

oooooo, that's a GREAT idea!!!!!!!!

>>Have you looked around on wedding sites to see if there is any protocol for gifts when a wedding is out of town or a destination wedding?<<

yes...there's nothing about it, just etiquette for wedding gifts, in general...

I, honestly, don't know why I am annoyed so much by this?! I think it's because I JUST realized I have zero control over "our wedding"

And, San, I'll stop talking about it now......:smileywink:

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Wed, 01-25-2012 - 12:55am
It's not that you should stop talking about it but I feel bad because you keep going in circles with no resolution. I do believe you're focusing on this particular issue is displaced because you've placed a particularly important event in someone else's hands. My suggestion is to take back control of your wedding.

San
Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Wed, 01-25-2012 - 8:03am
As far as I know, the only acceptable mention of wedding gifts is to say "No gifts, please". To elaborate, I would say "Due to the fact that we live in Texas, it would not be possible to take many gifts back with us after the wedding so we are requesting no gifts, please." Some people may still give money but it is the only polite way to address the issue without sound expectational. If you're unwilling to say "no gifts" because you do want the gifts... well, that just proves what you're trying to say to people will come across as greedy and expectational. While I understand wanting to have control over your wedding, by definition, a gift to you is not supposed to be something you have control over.

As I explained before, I was in this very same situation - we made no mention of it whatsoever and people just gave money. Maybe you think some of your friends and family won't know to do this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Thu, 01-26-2012 - 1:04pm

Okay look. You are stressing too much about this! Truly!

Avatar for cowboys_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2010
Thu, 01-26-2012 - 1:40pm

I know, I figured I am making it too much of a big deal...your right....I stopped!

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Sat, 01-28-2012 - 10:23pm
Look I know what loosing control feels like. My mom went and got and had printed my wedding invites w no input or permission from me. Honestly I was so mad at the time but now it just gets a head shake from me. We have been married twenty yrs. Those small details will work out.
Avatar for cowboys_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2010
Sat, 01-28-2012 - 11:37pm

ahhhhhh, so you know what I'm going thru!

My MIL & SIL planned the WHOLE wedding.....& honestly DF & I don't care that much, BUT when we wanted just stupid, simple things included, if they don't like it, it's just not going to be done! Doesn't really matter what we think! :smileyfrustrated:

But, we live a few states away from then, so we don't have to see & deal with them on a daily basis!

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend