Questioning Everything you do?????

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2006
Questioning Everything you do?????
4
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 12:59pm

What to do....


I have a family member that I am very close to but she constantly goes behind my back and questions everything we discuss....


I confine in her about things and she constantly brings up the situation and says that others are saying it happen a different way and that

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 1:54pm

I would honestly find someone else to confide in.

I had a friend like that. I could tell her Im craving a cheeseburger, and she would question just how genuine the statement was. Once we eventually drifted, things seemed to have eased up in that respect.

Hugs,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2006
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 2:04pm

I think I have to do what you said.... it really hurts because this is a family member and she is doing this to other family members... (she makes me look so dumb) and when I bring it to her attention, she makes it seem like I am crazy and the one stretching things out... its never nobody else!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 7:20pm
I had a few "friends" like that. Like Anna, I tried my very best not to let them be privy to any info about me. If I suspected someone might leak some info to the gossip, I made sure not to tell them certain things either.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2006
Fri, 09-03-2010 - 7:33am

The thing is that she is doing this to me with my entire family... and I just dont get why she would do this.... it makes no sense... Its making me feel that I now have to avoid everybody! They must really be looking at me in a different light (my name has been put thru the mud....)


How will I ever be able to look okay again in people's eyes? (sigh)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
Fri, 09-03-2010 - 9:44am

I hope you don't think I'm prying, but is this your sister, who's doing this? She could be doing this in connection with your situation with your brother. Or has she always been like this?


I read somewhere that Jacqueline Kennedy once said that not saying something in your defense makes the rumor mill die down. I'm not sure what this was in relation to, because they were always smearing the Kennedys back in the day.


As far as looking good in their eyes, only time can take care of that. Sometimes, people get an epiphany that perhaps, you didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes they ask us for our side of the story and then see the light.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 09-03-2010 - 12:14pm
Your situation sounds SO familiar. My mother used to do this to me all the time and everyone would always believe her, including my father. It caused a lot of pain and frustration. All I can suggest is that you stop talking with this person and wait for everyone else to realise what's going on. I know this will be hard and may take a long long time, but if she's doing the same thing to other people eventually they are going to figure out she's the fantasist.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2006
Sat, 09-04-2010 - 9:19am

Thanks for your comment... but I truly feel that will never happen....


I love her dearly but its been going on for years...it just hurts ....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2010
Wed, 09-08-2010 - 9:49am

Ugh, I try to stay away from toxic people, and this one sure does qualify. Good luck.






Edited 10/2/2010 11:41 pm ET by darling.carly
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Wed, 09-08-2010 - 10:30am

I tend to agree with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Wed, 09-08-2010 - 10:31am

Welcome to the board!



 

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