Is this really a Best Friend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2010
Is this really a Best Friend?
6
Mon, 07-25-2011 - 5:51pm

Last Friday and Saturday night's my friend Johnathan and I tried calling our friend Aracelys so we can do our 3-way chat because she told us to call her at midnight we did just that and she did not answer. So Sunday night arrives and she calls me and she sounds like her typical self, all sad and depressed about her issues and problems.


Me, I've dealt with hearing about these issues and problems over and over again so I don't care about them anymore. Now before you call me a bad friend or a bitch, hear me out. The reason I don't care is because this friend who considers me her best friend is not a best friend not by a long shot.


Whenever I have a problem and call her she never answers her phone I always got to leave a voicemail and even then she doesn't listen to it. Then when I call her and invite her to go out she says "No we got to stay in this city only - I don't want to go there it's too far" when she has a car and it's not more than 10 minutes away 20 tops! I have even offered to give her gas money and she says no.


To me a best friend is someone who answers your calls and listen's to your problems and gives you advice and is always there for you. Just like my new best friend, whenever I have a problem she's there to listen and her and I have a great friendship. Like her and I love this one clothing line and whenever one of us find's an item the other wants we pick it up and ship it to one another and pay each other etc. Now thats a reliable friend!


Now back to my other friend Aracely's, she hardly has money or the money she does get she uses towards pigging out at a fast food restruant or uses on herself when she could use it on gas to come over and hang out because she's always complaining how she's bored and doesn't hang out.


I offer to hang out and she refuses or as I said wants to stick in one spot and only there even if I tell her let's talk down the street to this store she says eh let's stay here. So back to Sunday's conversation, Johnathan calls and she does and we all talk and Aracely's is all depressed and sad and I tell her go and tell Johnathan your problems go on you know you want too.


She says oh I'm just dealing with my problems and some issues and tells Johnathan "don't you think that if you have a friend or "best friend" that they should be there to listen and give you adivce etc" I end up telling her off right then and there,And she ends up saying to Johnathan "can you call me 1 on 1 so I can tell you whats going on?"


Then the two hang out and Johanthan calls me back at 1AM. And tells me what happened and he says that Aracely says I was immature and needs to grow up and go back to school and I was a brat and not much of a friend etc. I'm not a friend? Please look how she treats me, she's not the friend not me.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Mon, 07-25-2011 - 6:33pm

She sounds a lot like a "friend"I had long time ago. I would stress so much about her that in the end I decided to cut her loose. I just could not take it anymore. I figured life is too short to surround yourself with people that cause you so much stress. Some people are worth fighting for but for some you just need to let go. I still talk to my friend maybe once in

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Mon, 07-25-2011 - 7:02pm
Some people are life long friends, and others aren't...she sounds like one of the latter. My intuition tells me you may be quite young. Trust me, you will "lose touch" with many more friends in your lifetime. Some you will miss, and some you won't :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2010
Mon, 07-25-2011 - 7:39pm

Yeah I don't know what to do part of me, wants to be her friend again but another part says eh she should go screw herself and I don't want nothing to do with you anymore. She is 22 and I'm 23 going on 24 in September, our friend has been since middle school and got back in route in the 10th grade of high school.

Since then what I said has been happening and I just don't see her as being a best friend in my eyes or a good friend altogether. The problem is I don't have a lot of "outside hang out types of friends to begin with" I got a Boyfriend but he lives 45 minutes away and hardly has cash or time available or a car to come and see me and same on my end, hardly time or car, I got the cash but need to save it for certain things too.

Other than my Boyfriend and this friend of mine all my other friends aren't around or just call me when their bored and lazy so those aren't much of friends either. Everybody else is already living their own lives pretty much so I got no one, I'm an only child so I'm always alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2010
Mon, 07-25-2011 - 7:41pm

Yeah trust me all the friends I do have just use me or talk crap about me or just talk to me becuz their bored and lazy and got nothing better to do. I did manage to make a new best friend last November/December 2010 only problem there is that she lives in another state but her and I talk over the phone or text 24/7 and she's always there to hear my problems and vise-versa and she's a way better friend than all my other friends put together.

Avatar for cowboys_grl
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2010
Tue, 07-26-2011 - 3:40pm

Friendship is a "two way street", each friend gives a little....she sounds very selfish. I would stay away.

Kiki (hit my magic age of 45 and no longer TTC),but mom to a beautiful teen DD & 2 angels in heaven & married to my best friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2010
Tue, 07-26-2011 - 11:28pm

Haha yeah I'm gona leave her be.