Same every year ..

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2010
Same every year ..
20
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 2:06am

Hi,

One of my good friends has a birthday dinner every year. She invites us all to the best restaurant and we all pay for our dinner and hers. I just looked up the restaurant. Its about $40 a main course on average. Most people would eat 3 courses and have wine. I don't want to seem petty but I don't eat 3 courses and drink much and feel that I don't want to go out and have

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 3:45am
Hi sultanofwswing-

I would simply say that it's just not in your budget right now to afford this. I mean , really, 200.00, plus a gift, and the cost of a sitter is a ton of $. I would buy her a gift (as she is a good friend) and then let her know that you have this for her, and would love to see her another time so that you can give it to her.

-JoJo
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 9:27am
I completely agree with JoJo!! Be honest and get her a reasonable gift. If she's still upset with you I would question her friendship.

San
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 12:13pm
Having a b.d. dinner where she invites others to come pay for her food? At expensive places? She's so tacky. Ugh.

I wouldn't go, and if she got upset I'd tell her goodbye.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 2:52pm

I agree with what everybody else said.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 4:02pm

She gets upset with you? Puleeze.

IMO its very inconsiderate of her to choose an expensive restaurant when so many people are struggling in the current ecomony. Are she and the other guests so wealthy that this IS their idea of a moderate restaurant?

Do you have to split the bill evenly, even if you do not order as much as the other diners? We do this kind of dining for birthdays sometimes, and everybody puts in how much they owe for what they actually ordered plus the fraction for the guest of honor's tab. A lot of people would agree that they don't want to pay extra for the guy down the table who had numerous craft cocktails and the most expensive dish on the menu! BTW, paying for the GOH's dinner plus our presence at the dinner IS the gift.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2010
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 6:44pm

Thanks everyone for your reply. I agree with all of you, that its tacky that she expects us to pay for this dinner/ wine etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 7:00pm
Hugs. Sorry to hear the friend is lacking social etiquette.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 7:04pm

I agree with last paragraph of elc11’s post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 10:32pm
I don't understand why you've made that decision either. It's not the right way to fix this. It's your decision.

San
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 5:43pm

wouldn't it be AWESOME if everyone showed up, paid for thier own meals and drinks but NOT hers! lol

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