Serious Problem with my Father yesterday, This won't leave my mind, please help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008
Serious Problem with my Father yesterday, This won't leave my mind, please help!
10
Sat, 07-09-2011 - 2:42am

Hi, I'm in my late 20s and my dad and I live in different states on opposite sides of the country.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
If one were to change some of the details, I could have written this post many years ago. My father now realizes he can' t hurt me emotionally anymore, so he's gotten worse.

It's really late here and I can't write much tonight, but I wanted you to quickly know I'd read this and really feel for you. And I'll be back tomorrow.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007

I'm sorry your Dad is being a PITA.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008

Thank you very much for your response.

Yes, the Navy is very hard!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008
I didn't mean giving up his life like he'll die! Oh I just noticed that! I mean that he's giving up freedoms and we have to be apart because he's serving his country. His service has first priority... It's admirable that a person can do that. I couldn't join the service...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Your father is a piece of work, alright.

Mine is, too. Yes, I wish I could have had a good relationship with him, but it's impossible. And it doesn't sound like your situation is any better.

I hope you don't hang onto this as long as I did (I'm quite a bit older than you). Let him go for awhile, see how he acts. If nothing changes, or gets worse, then you have your answer. Time to let go for good.

Sorry you're going through this.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Is there anybody else on the planet you'd take this abuse from? I doubt it...so why are you taking it from your sperm donor? It doesn't sound AT ALL like he was ever a FATHER...all he seems to have done was share his sperm and then make your life miserable.

You're going to have enough stress adjusting to marriage...to the Navy lifestyle...to living in a new place. WHY do you feel any need the added stress of a man who only wants to cause you pain...just because he's genetically your father? I'd be GLAD you had the opportunity to see him for who he is and I'd get on with my life. My husband was in the Army when we got married and we spent the next 20 years as an Army family. Yes, it's tough sometimes...but Oh! Those reunions! The best of luck to you and your guy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2004

"K, sorry, but you kids only cause me stress that I don't need"<<<<<<<<<<< This is your get out of jail free card. Many couples use them lol

"Well Dad you can rest easy knowing we won't be around to stress you, And seriously what is he stressing if you and your sister have your ducks lined up and he isn't helping w/anything

Ok going to try this again lol. I had a very nice medium-long reply and I lost it, grr. So ok highlights to me in a nutshell. Sounds like Dad is projecting *his*issues on you. He cheated on your mom while she was pg. Often the cheater will accuse the unknowing s/o of the things he or she is doing. Sounds like he thinks all men are just like him. Therefore....your fiance is. (NOT)

anon for this one
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2004
Umm that should have said further embarrassment !!
anon for this one
Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004

Kitty Kat,

HI. I am sorry you had such a traumatic lunch with your Dad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2002

I am so sorry to hear that you had to experience that with your "sperm donor" whom you should have been able to call father and share your joy with.