Is she purposely being mean?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Is she purposely being mean?
18
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 2:12am

Hello,



I'd like some advice on a situation that recently took place with me and one of my friends. To give some history, she and I have bouts of not speaking off and on for many years (we've known each other for about 20 years). We've been back in touch for about a year and a half and things have been pretty good. When we feel an issue arise we've talked it out and moved on.



Last weekend she invited me to go to out to an event in the city. She said she was leaving at 4:00. I rush to do what I have to do to make sure I am ready on time. At 1/4 to 4, I text to let her know I would be ready to meet her in 15 minutes. She tells me she's not ready. It sort of ticked me off because I feel that she could have let me know sooner that she was not

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 5:58am

I wouldn't speak with her again, if that is how she was going to treat me.

Hugs,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 6:42am

It certainly does sound as if she did all that intentionally.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 7:31am
What a jerk.
Avatar for lizmvr
Community Leader
Registered: 06-06-2001
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 12:20pm

I totally agree with paradigm.



Why are you hanging out with people who seemingly don't have any integrity?

Liz


Clinical Research Associate


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 12:39pm

I'm curious as to why you texted her and told her you'd changed your mind..



Why didn't you tell her to get lost (or something worse) because she'd stood you up?



What kind of voice messages have ya'll been leaving since then?



Thanks for your answers.



 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 12:42pm
I can see why you had bouts of not speaking to her as well. You probably got fed up with her crap and didn't want to deal with her. She sounds very immature and very mean. I would defriend her on Facebook with no explanation. She knows why you would defriend her.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2002
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 2:52pm

I too had a friend like that, but bear in mind we were in our 20's at the time.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

.  -Albert Einstein

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 3:15pm

I don't have any friends now, I've moved so much, have been burned too many times, I will be completely alone should anything happen to my husband or our relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2008
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 6:13pm

I'm with itchick & paradigm...I've been in friendships that ended poorly and now have very FEW FEMALE FRIENDS!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 6:38pm

Ladies, I feel your pain. Twice in my lifetime I "started over" in the friendship department. I left my tiny town to go to college, while some of my friends went to the community college (nothing wrong with that, it's what they did and didn't do with their opportunities). Some of these girls dropped out and some of them graduated, but stayed in whatever job they had before college and some didn't even go to school at all. They mainly stayed home and walked to each others' houses because they didn't have cars. They partied and blew off classes and work (just like they did in high school). They became more irresponsible than when they were in high school, because their parents gave them more freedom once they turned 18. I couldn't relate anymore, but tried to hang onto the friendships for old time's sake. It was they who began to distance themselves from me.

I started over, making friends with people from college. We had a nice little group, but a couple of the girls changed. They became little hosers, so I found some new friends. It's not easy starting over and the older you get, the harder it is. But it can be done.

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