Should I apologize?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011
Should I apologize?
34
Thu, 10-06-2011 - 8:23am

A couple of weeks ago I posted that I

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2006
Thu, 10-06-2011 - 9:16am

You were aware of her request before the party and made a conscious decision to ignore her and disrespect her in her own home. Regardless of what YOU think, it was HER home. Do you owe her an apology? YES--but since you don't seem to have any respect for her or remorse for acting like a rebellious teenager, it wouldn't mean anything. Since you are so firm in your conviction that you were "right", let your actions speak for themselves.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Thu, 10-06-2011 - 9:37am
As much as I do think it's tacky to ask people to remove their shoes at a party, I agree with the previous poster, you knew before the party that your sister had requested this. Yet you chose to go to her party, blatantly disregard her request, and disrespect her in her own home. My opinion? If you felt so strongly about your shoes (which I also think is pretty ridiculous) you should have stayed home and let your sister enjoy her party. Her request may have been tacky, but your blatant disregard for her feelings over your dress-up costume was rude and kind of immature. If I was you, I would apologize, and stay home from future parties if this shoe thing is going to be that big of a deal for you.
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Thu, 10-06-2011 - 1:28pm
If your apology wouldn't be sincere, then I wouldn't apologize. However, from my perspective, it was her house and if it had been me, I would have respected her wishes. I realize it would have kind of put a dent in your outfit, but she did ask everyone to take their shoes off, not just you. She probably even asked some people to remove their shoes in front of others, as she did in your case. You probably just didn't see it happen. If it were me, I'd apologize, and move on. I don't think it's worth the friction it's caused between the two of you. If you wanted to, you could even say, "I'm sorry I didn't go along with your wishes, but in the future, I would appreciate it if you would address these types of things with me in private."
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Thu, 10-06-2011 - 1:37pm

I would apologize to keep the peace - something like....sorry I caused a scene at your party.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010
Thu, 10-06-2011 - 2:15pm

First of all, the outfits you describe sound really cute!

Okay – I don’t know why your sister has such a shoes-off issue, but you knew about it in advance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Thu, 10-06-2011 - 2:29pm

I would apologize.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011
Thu, 10-06-2011 - 5:29pm

No, I didn't go there to blatantly ignore her her wishes and I could have stayed home but that would have caused a bigger problem if I had chose to skip her Birthday party, that would have hurt her feelings and I don't know if she would have forgiven me for that. Plus she wanted me there to lead a line dance as I'm the only one who knew how to do it and she had put me on the program as

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Thu, 10-06-2011 - 5:30pm

I think you need to apologize....you knew when you put your costume together that she had special instructions so you should not have built your costumer without respecting her wishes.

San

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2011
Thu, 10-06-2011 - 8:07pm
keepingitreal1 wrote:

A couple of weeks ago I posted that I

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Thu, 10-06-2011 - 9:25pm

Your dh and your BIL kept their shoes on and your sister didn't say anything to them? What is the reason that she suddenly wants people to remove shoes in her house?

I think that you should apologize for upsetting her on her birthday, not for keeping your shoes on. I understand what the others here are saying about respecting her rules in her home, but the fact that she seems to have enforced it unevenly isn't respectful of her guests. Its either a rule, which she makes sure that everybody follows; or a suggestion, which the guests are free to do or not. And as hostess she should not have made a big deal about your boots in front of the guests and potentially cause you public embarrassment.

I agree with you that its weird to have a costume party then tell the guests that they cannot wear part of their costume while in her house. Just have a regular party, warn the guests that they're expected to remove their shoes (so they don't wear hole-y socks) and provide disposable booties.

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