Should I Just But Out Of My Son's Love Life?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011
Should I Just But Out Of My Son's Love Life?
23
Sat, 06-25-2011 - 10:02am

My son is 27 and has yet to maintain a long term relationship.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002

Your son is doing the right thing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011

You are right, but I

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998

The whole story is strange. Not a very good buddy that invites someone else's gf on a trip without first inviting his friend. The part about Facebook, no big deal but the weekend away sounds like the buddy is hitting on her. For the gf's part, it sounds like she thought your son was going and she invited some other people so she may not have intended to hook up with the buddy, since your son refuses to go he'll have to see how it plays out. Whether its proper or improper etc, they're adults and get to set their own standards. What one person will not tolerate is fine to someone else.

A more important issue is why he gets in relationships with women who don't want monogamous relationships if he's looking for a prospective bride.

If your son asks for your opinion or advice then its fine to give it. If he doesn't ask but you think that the situation looks like it will go wrong, you could ask him if he wants to hear your opinion. Tell him once, and then butt out. He's grown up and has to deal with these things for himself. Its nice when you can learn from someone else's mistakes but a lot of people have to learn the hard way. You want the best for your son and you don't want to see him hurt or taken advantage of but he may have to get burned to learn.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2010

Oy. Its really hard to see your kids get invloved with friends like this. I suppose you have to trust the weekend as an inidicator of what happens next, its good that its only 2 months into the relationship as if she is

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011

I did give my opinion on the situation and as you said I need to step back. But it is soo hard and I don't want to be that type of mother who runs their child's life and ruins their relationships. What I like about my son is that he does seek my advice and values my opinions but in some of his pass relationships his gf's have been uncomfortable with how often he talks to me and how close we are and have called him a moma's boy. It is going to be hard, but I am going to learn to keep my mouth shut.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004

I also have a single, dating son.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011

How I arrived at the conclusion that his ex doctor g/f might kill someone is because she would be out drinking all night and

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004

I don't see a problem in your speaking with your son on a daily basis IF it's what you both want and if you're talking about things other than his dates.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011

Thanks, I'm sure I won't find myself in that position. I think I would be sooo happy to have a daughter in law as I have always wanted a, girl but had two boys instead. The girls my son dated when he was home loved me, but he didn't share alot of information about his relationships then.

Now that he lives miles away from home and sees me only twice a year, we talk more on the phone. Unless he moves back to the same state that I live in it will be kind of difficult for me to be too overbearing from another state. I think

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004

So it seems the GF learned a lesson, your son discovered his GF wasn't into hooking up with his friend and doesn't like drunks and YOU didn't have to say a thing!

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