Should I Just But Out Of My Son's Love Life?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011
Should I Just But Out Of My Son's Love Life?
23
Sat, 06-25-2011 - 10:02am

My son is 27 and has yet to maintain a long term relationship.

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004

Good for you for holding your tounge! Hard to do but in this case it was the right thing to do!

Of course you care about your son and his choices. You can have a healthy relationship with him as an adult and not have him labeled a "mama's boy." That will take some practice on your part by you doing exactly what you did when he reported back on the bad weekend...holding your tounge even when you WANT to say something. ;-) Some other things you might say if he calls and asks your opinion on things might be: "Well, I think you're capable of making that decision yourself. I'll support your decision." OR "I always want what's best for you but this time you'll have to work it out yourself. Just know I'm here and I love you."

Notice both of those statements are supportive but not "opinions" or "advice" or "telling him what to do." Your son obviously values you and your advice. If he questions your responses I'd simply say, "I love you and you are my son.You are also a grown man and I trust you can make your own decisions." Again, you reinforce him but don't commit to advice giving, etc.

Now, obviously, if he calls you up and says, "Mom! There's a guy here promising me a million dollars if I just sign on the dotted line. Should I?" You can be safe in saying, "No, I don't think that's a great idea. Why don't I meet this guy with you and we'll talk about it.?" Now,

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004

ahhh to be in love lol

I think you have already done all you can. You voiced your concern to him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
The story is wayyy over. As is the relationship.

 

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