Should I Stay Out Of My Husband's Family Drama
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|Thu, 08-16-2012 - 8:09pm|
I recently posted about my in laws wanting my husband to contribute to an expensive funeral for their sister and we could not afford it. Now on the heels of that drama they are faced with another financial crisis that the family wants everyone to contribute to.
My 84 year old MIL broke her leg and foot from a fall in her apartment and has been in a rehab facility for the pass three months. Now her medicare has run out and they will no longer pay for her to stay in the facility. My MIL just had surgery on her leg and foot three weeks ago and her dr has said she can not be released without 24 hour care as she can not stand and care for herself.
She would be eligible for emergency Medicaid, and an in home care giver service through the county and Aid and Attendance benefits from the VA because she is the widow of a veteran who had served in a foreign war, but she will not cooperate with the family to get her these benefits she is eligible for. She is insisting that the family is plotting against her to put her in a nursing home and that she wants to go home and that her kids should care for her. The problem with that is… it was tried before she ended up in the rehab facility, she is over weight, diabetic, but worse of all she is mean and spiteful. Because she is so heavy and is dead weight she was dropped numerous times and the family is not trained to do that type of heavy lifting. But worse of all she got angry with her daughter who was staying with her to care for her and threw an iron at her. She then scratched her arm up trying to fight her because the daughter refused to give her a coke. Mind you this woman is diabetic and had just been released from the hospital the day before because her sugar level was 490 and she almost went into diabetic shock after her daughter had allowed her to eat a whole apple pie. The daughter left after a week of abuse from my MIL and so she was placed in the rehab facility.
Because my MIL won’t provide them with any financial information or cooperate with the family to get her additional financial help to pay for her to stay in the facility, the family is faced with a choice of bringing her home with no care in place to take care of her or pay out of pocket themselves.
My brother in law who has been taking care of all of the arrangements for my MIL has decided to take out a loan to pay for 60 days in an assisted living facility and wants the family to help pay it back.
Our position is that my brother in law has access to all her financial information in her apartment and that we should get it and apply for everything she is entitled to and not let her continue to bully and control everything and that they need to lay down the law with her. They won’t do it because she has told them she won’t speak to them again if they go against her. My husband spoke to his brother and told him to just let us deal with this situation because he didn’t care if she never spoke to him again. Then his family had a meeting without letting my husband know about it and then decide we all are going to help foot this bill.
My husband is livid, but still trying to figure out how we are going to pay our supposed portion. I am against it because I feel they intentionally excluded him from the meeting because they knew he would be against it. But don’t know if I should just stay out of it and let him do what he feels he needs to do.