Sick of People Getting Mad At Me - Just Venting

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2005
Sick of People Getting Mad At Me - Just Venting
21
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 10:24am

I'm just venting, but I need to get this out.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 11:23am

I don't know if this will help or if you already do this, but.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2005
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 11:45am
I appreciate that, but there are different liability issues relating to that too. I had one girl interested at one time, but she wrote me a $40 bad check for riding lessons one time, so that's that for me with her. Most other people want us to pay all the expense, clean the stalls, etc. while they just come ride.......it was a mistake getting into it - I have told my DH that - it was much, much cheaper for me just to board a horse someplace else, but now we've done it and I guess we'll just keep doing what we're doing until it winds down......

The one thing that does get me with him is he is a passive aggressive - he will tell me one thing while thinking another and/or flip on an issue and how am I to know what's the truth?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 12:52pm

That's pretty bad that he flips on an issue so easily. I had a bf like that and I swear he loved to keep everyone on their toes. I think it gave him a sense of power. When I broke up with him, my parting statement (and only reason I gave him) was "I can't win".

If people get angry with you for things that aren't your fault, you may have to give each person a speech every time this happens. I've been known to be too nice and had to start showing people there are consequences for dumping on me. You might have to do the same.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 1:46pm
Don't worry about the length of your posts. The more we understand, the better I think.

I wish I knew what to tell you. You're sure stuck in a tight spot. And I don't blame you one bit for putting those horses at the top of your priority list. Cause you're right, there's no way to tell what will happen to them if the bank takes them and sends them to auction. The thought of packing plants and their horrific practices in Mexico make my stomach turn.

It sounds like your DH's horse wreck did a number on him. But he shouldn't blame you for the financial mess ya'll are in.

Anywaysss... if I think of anything constructive, insofar as a way out, I'll write back. In the meantime, I'm thinking of you and your horses....



 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2005
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 3:45pm
Thank you - we do both love them, we're just under some stress right now. We did have to file Chapter 13 bankruptcy almost 2 years ago now - we are making the payments over 5 years, and it helped a bunch. And once we're out from under that things should get easier, but we sure have learned our lesson about trying to start a business and really making it work. We really are lucky we've got our other jobs to pay for feed, bedding, hay, etc. And we're doing the right thing it's not the horses' faults either - they can't make people come ride them. If you'd like to see some pics - go to www.triplemstables.net....I need to get a picture of our pony, Hershel, on there - he's hilarious and the only other horse/pony that's given me a severe concussion in 42 years (he is not ridden or driven any more)....

Yep, it was a terrible accident. I saw it all and really thought he'd broken his back. 1100 pounds right down your middle even for 10 seconds would probably have killed anybody else not as strong as him. I guess maybe he needs to have somebody vent the anger on - he did cause it to happen, but he didn't do it on purpose. And it was an accident for the horse too - he reared because John's reins were way too tight, which he shouldn't have, but it happens, and lost his balance causing him to flip. Luckily that doesn't happen very often at all, but I did see Christopher Reeve in person one time too - in his wheelchair. It's amazing how 10 seconds can drastically change any of our lives. But University of Kentucky and his orthopedic surgeon did a really fantastic job getting him back on his feet - we went to see him December 29th, and he said John is way ahead in terms of recovery - most people at this stage aren't even walking yet and he's feeding and cleaning stalls tonite while I have to work late (my late work is only very temporary). And we clean stalls and turn horses out in the wee hours of the morning too so it's not so hard on him....only takes about 15 to 20 minutes if you do it twice a day. Anyway, thank you for your kind words that really helps.......And I am sticking by my promise to him he really doesn't ever have to sit on a horse';s back again unless he wants to, and we have a horse we think is safe enough....His riding helmet probably helped save his life too....
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2005
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 3:56pm
p.s. Please don't anybody email me at the home email address on our website - unless you don't mention these posts he doesn't know I get on here - and I don't get on here very often, but he probably wouldn't understand. I really am just venting and sometimes it helps me think things through.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 4:05pm
I've been friends of friends with 2 men who died when the horse rolled back and the saddle horn went into their gut. The last one split his liver in half, I can't remember exactly what internal injury the first got. (I do know he was drunk and running the horse up and down a hill, the last one was rounding up cattle and an accident just happened.)

You seem very determined that the accident was your husband's fault. What has he said about that? Do you think that has anything to do with his attitude, and his passive-aggressiveness? I know that I would be upset if I was repeatedly reminded that I had caused my own accident.

If just a few days ago a doctor told him he's way ahead of the game.. do you think he's thinking you're expecting too much of him?

I'm just wondering... cause it's obvious you two are under a great deal of stress, and need to come to some kind of resolution without him lashing out at you.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2005
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 5:04pm

I see what you're saying, but no, I don't repeatedly remind him the accident was mostly

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 5:46pm
chic452006 wrote:

I see what you're saying, but no, I don't repeatedly remind him the accident was mostly

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2008
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 8:03pm
ohearto wrote:

I don't know if this will help or if you already do this, but.

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